It’s taken over three years but…the underground, urban legend of Jay Cutler has finally gone mainstream. For years, my friends and I have discussed this AWESOME story. I’ve hinted about knowing it in past articles, but never published any details.
Well here it is in all it’s glory:
At a trendy sushi restaurant in Chicago during the off-season, a guy goes to the bathroom and sees Jay Cutler, hat on backwards, at the urinal. So the guy starts going to the bathroom next to him and says, “Hey, Jay I also went to Vanderbilt, we might know some of the same people…”
Jay cuts him off mid-sentence with: “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”
Bar Stool Sports did an interview with Cutler. And he neither confirmed nor denied. He said he didn’t remember, but inferred that the fawning guy was likely exaggerating it. Cutler didn’t yell or scream. I dug up a witness to this story. Here’s his story and he’s sticking to it.
He also says that the yelling part is exaggerated.
You can here me telling this story live on 670 The Score on August 2nd
And video of me telling this story live on stage at The Laugh Factory in Chicago
Jay Cutler, we salute you! As does this Bears fan, via his jersey. This is AWESOME because my friends and I have been saying “DON’T CARE!!!” to each other for years; simply because of this Cutler episode. I’ve used the phrase on numerous other members of the local sports media. Now they use it to each other.
Even my 77-year-old father has been saying it for at least a couple years. My girlfriend appropriately uses it on me when I drone on about myself.
Since 2009 this saying has been a big part of my life.
Hear an insipid anecdote? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”
Boring, pointless story? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”
Telling me how your fantasy football and/or bracket is doing? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”
Posting pictures of your food to Facebook? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”
Coverage of women’s basketball? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”
Press releases about individual player/coach awards? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”
Spring college football intra-squad scrimmages? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”
Tim Tebow? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”
Paul M. Banks is the owner of The Sports Bank.net, a Fox Sports affiliate. He is also an analyst for 95.7 The Fan, and writes on Chicago sports media for Chicago Now. President Obama follows his Twitter account (@paulmbanks)