VOTE NOW! The Sports Bank Anti-Bracket Ty Cobb Regional Finals

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The Ty Cobb Regional featured some stiff competition among losers. Brett Favre, Kurt Rambis, Harvey Updyke, Charlie Sheen and David Kahn highlighted the regional’s biggest failures. Much like the NCAA Tournament, the first two rounds featured some epic upsets and some orgasmic finales that would have made Gus Johnson keel over into a giant puddle of awesome-sauce.

By Peter Christian

favre-drama-queen

In the top half of the regional  the #1 overall seed of the entire tournament Brett Favre dominated his way to the Sweet 16 by dispatching the caved in Metrodome in typical 1 vs. 16 fashion. The Dong Texter had far too much anti-class for the roofless, archaic sports arena.

In the 2nd round Favre’s constant necessity for happy endings dominated Kurt Rambis early and often. Rambis tried to claw back into the match up by being a terrible coach, consistently benching his best player in clutch moments and being fine with third rate players jacking up bad shots, but it wasn’t enough as Favre punched his ticket to the regional semis with cheesy pick up lines and some double speak about hanging it up and never wanting to quit in the same sentence.

Meeting Favre in the Sweet 16 is Laurel Stuckey. You might remember Laurel from her verbal destruction of the lovable Big Easy on “RW/RR Challenge: Cutthroat” but her first and second round upsets over Cecil Newton and Harvey Updyke made the Patriot missile attacks on Iraq in 1991 seem like a hard fought draw. Both Newton and Updyke had some downright douchiness to counter Laurel’s uber-bitchiness but it was her sneakiness and underhanded behavior that put her over the top.

In the bottom half of the regional it was another double digit seed making a Cinderella run to the Ty Cobb Regional Semi-Finals. People who didn’t watch “Friday Night Lights” used their momentum from their play in game vs. OJ Mayo to take down the King of all Media D-bags in Rick Reilly. Reilly was likely a bit over-seeded and didn’t have quite the track record this year to make an impact in the tournament. Reilly’s flat performance was a result of his lack of talent and the People who didn’t watch “FNL” pounced on the opportunity.

In the 2nd round they took down Charlie Sheen rather easily as everyone has gotten pretty sick of Charlie lately. It’s quite obvious that People who didn’t watch “FNL” would be winning. Duh.

Timberwolves President David Kahn and Head Coach Kurt Rambis

Set to face People who didn’t watch “FNL” is David Kahn. Kahn’s road wasn’t nearly as easy to get to the Sweet 16 as the other three members that has made it from the Ty Cobb Regional. Kahn had a tough time getting rid of Derek Anderson in the first round. Anderson surprised everyone, including Kahn, with exactly how much douche he brought to the table. Anderson and Kahn went toe to toe with poor excuses for prior failures. Kahn eventually won out with some smarmy comments about his process and his “plan.”

In the 2nd round, Kahn needed overtime to take down Digger Phelps. Digger continued to try too hard to try and get attention with his matching tie and highlighter rather than actual insight (investigation pending as to whether he can actually provide such insight). Kahn was finally able to end Digger’s Anti-Bracket run by actually leaving Digger speechless after Kahn explained his “knowledge” of the game of basketball.

So there you have it. Favre vs. Laurel and People who didn’t watch “Friday Night Lights” vs. David Kahn.

It’s in your hands now. Vote early, vote often. Polls for all Anti-Brackets close Sunday March 27th, 11:59 PM CT! Don’t forget to vote in our other regionals too

Kardashian Regional


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