Jimmy Clausen is what happened to J.D. McCoy after Friday Night Lights ended

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In honor of the Chicago Bears signing Jimmy Clausen to serve as a back-up to Jay Cuter, I’m re-publishing running this article from April 21st, 2010.

Former Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen and his so-called character issues, are truly just fabrications when you break them down. In the Draft evaluation process, scouts and NFL “cognoscenti” alike said he was immature and void of leadership skills.

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Analyzing the Minnesota Vikings Depth Chart

The addition of Donovan McNabb and Michael Jenkins on the offensive side of the ball have been the two most notable positive amendments during the offseason. The most newsworthy departure is undoubtedly the exit by offensive lineman and consistent Pro Bowler Bryant McKinnie.

After taking a look at the depth chart on the team’s official site, it is puzzling to note that Joe Webb has taken a stronghold on the number two quarterback position. All the fans heard on draft day was how smart and crafty Christian Ponder was. It’s hard to fathom that we would be third at this time then if Cam Newton is starting in Carolina. The Auburn product couldn’t even name a play that he liked when prompted. I am shocked that there would be hyperbole surrounding a prospect on draft day!

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Anti-Bracket Champions: People Who Didn’t Watch Friday Night Lights

adrianne-palicki

It”s One Shining Moment for Peter Christian! His entry slaughtered mine 75.94% to 24.06% in the title game. Here’s his acceptance speech:

First and foremost, I’m proud that the People Who Didn’t Watch “Friday Night Lights” got their due as the douchiest entity of the past year. “FNL” was an excellent show and as much as a certain commenter thought that this group of people winning the Ty Cobb Regional was a “tongue-in-cheek” joke, it was a serious travesty that the show’s run was limited to only five seasons. I’m also really pleased that the FNL Ignorers prevailed over the Playing of “I’ve Got a Feeling” at Sporting Events.

As lame and overdone as that song is, the sheer number of people who didn’t watch Friday Night Lights was so large and the movement had gained so much momentum that the winner of the Kardashian Regional never had a chance.

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VOTE NOW: Anti-Bracket Title GAME! Black-Eyed Peas Vs. FNL Ignorance

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It all started in 2009. Notre Dame football fans with zero connection to the school made a furious comeback in their Final Four game to narrowly defeat Alex Rodriguez. In the other semifinal, Rachel Nichols routed Ronnie Woo Woo. In the inaugural title game, ND bandwagoners ran away with it.

They were no doubt bouyed by the fact that the first Anti-Bracket (or douchebracket as it was known then) was held right after Chicago’s Southside Irish Parade, a 31 year-old tradition, was canceled for good. No doubt a lot of the disgusting, drunken, criminal white trash who got that party kiboshed were rocking ND clothes despite themselves (or anyone in their family) never having setting foot in a University building.

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VOTE NOW! Anti-Bracket Final 4: Ines Sainz vs. People Who Didn’t Watch Friday Night Lights

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Here we go! Vote early, vote often! Polls are open until Thursday March 31st, 10 PM CT

Winner (announced Friday morning) advances to the Anti-Bracket National Title Game

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Anti-Bracket Regional Champion: People who Ignored Friday Night Lights

minka kelly

As they say in Dillon, TX: “Clear eyes, full hearts, CAN’T LOSE!” Which makes me think that too much of the American television watching population had clouded vision, no heart and the taste of a loser!

Are so many people rendered brain-dead from reality crapola like Real Housewives of ______? How did this happen? How was Peter Berg‘s “Friday Night Lights” not better supported? How come more people can’t recognize a well-written, well-developed dramatic serial that you can actually describe as art? (How rare is that, describing a non-“Lost” contemporary network show in that manner).

Now the series is over, and it’s unbelievable what garbage people watched in place of this transcendent show.

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VOTE NOW! The Sports Bank Anti-Bracket Ty Cobb Regional Finals

The Ty Cobb Regional featured some stiff competition among losers. Brett Favre, Kurt Rambis, Harvey Updyke, Charlie Sheen and David Kahn highlighted the regional’s biggest failures. Much like the NCAA Tournament, the first two rounds featured some epic upsets and some orgasmic finales that would have made Gus Johnson keel over into a giant puddle of awesome-sauce.

By Peter Christian

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Cubs Ramblings to Report as Pitchers and Catchers Report Soon

I am a rambling, rambling, rambling man.

As you can tell by the headline, it is time to ramble. Let the thoughts flow, let it all hang out, let it go.

So let’s do this. Ramble on!

• Picking up where I left off last week, the Groundhog says Spring is near. I think Punxsutawney Phil must have not seen the 24 inches of freaking snow in Chicago.

• So, the Cubs are giving good ole Lou Montanez another shot. The only person has been given more “second chances” than him is Charlie Sheen.

• I want to take Matt Garza and Carlos Zambrano out for drinks, get them liquored up and then start a fight …

• No, I don’t really want to do that.

• Okay, yes, I totally want that to happen.

• Are the Brewers really going to win the NL Central? Really? Really?

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Texas Forever! Illini vs. Baylor: Brutally Honest Bowl Game Preview

lyla garrity

Like they say in Dillon, deep in the heart of Texas, “Clear Eyes. Full Hearts. CAN’T LOSE!”  Yes, the Illinois Fighting Illini best adopt the philosophy of fictional football Coach Erik Taylor and his East Dillon Lions in the dramatic television series “Friday Night Lights.”

The Illini have their work cut out for them, only 1.5 point underdogs, but they’re playing in enemy territory, taking on a school that’s fired up about their first bowl appearance in 17 years, at a stadium less than three hours drive from campus.

Indeed Lambeau Field, home of the Green Bay Packers, won’t be the only NFL stadium where a local team in blue and orange is surrounded by an adversarial crowd in green and gold. Reliant Stadium, home of the Houston Texans, and college basketball’s next Final Four, will have a decidedly pro-Baylor slant when the Texas Bowl kicks off Wednesday night at 5.

“Texas forever, Street.”

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The Sports Bank Fantasy Draft: TV Characters

As the first website to feature a mock draft for all four professional sports, it’s safe to say we are the mock draft experts. Now we’re taking that expertise outside the box, or off the field if you will to bring you a new weekly segment called The Sports Bank Fantasy Draft. The premise is simple, we settle on a category and then have a fantasy draft of items/people within that category.

For our first draft, we’re taking on television characters. Joining me in the inaugural draft are Mr. Banks (PMB) and David Kay (DK). Our guidelines were pretty basic: the character’s show had to have aired within the last year, each roster needed to have at least one Lead Character, one Supporting Character and one Eye Candy and we were simply drafting based on awesomeness.

Then we compared that character to their sports world equivalent using David Kay’s patented “Think” method (see: NBA Mock Draft). We also omitted characters from shows that air on premium channels (i.e. HBO) because that could be it’s own draft down the line. Mr. Banks drew the first pick, his clock begins after the jump.

By Peter Christian

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