We all know that beer commercials are sexist. We all know that -in addition to their typical misogyny- they portray men as having an intelligence level on par with the semi-retarded. But then Coors Light came along and told us that we are all so stupid that we require a sensor telling us when beer is adequately cold. “Hey, the mountains are blue!”
Well thank heaven their scientists gave us this groundbreaking technological advance, because simply holding a beer to figure out its temperature was just too much f***ing trouble.
But Coors has outdone itself again, and this time they slam both genders. Watch the spot after the jump.
By Paul M. Banks
Wow. And I thought the “And Twins!!” spots were oppressively annoying.
First off, they stole the dynamic of EVERY sitcom of the past 30 years by putting an average looking dude with a chick that’s WAY out of his league. It’s not as bad as Kevin James or Adam Sandler standing next to their leading ladies, but it’s close. It’s a good thing we have Peter and Lois Griffin or Homer and Marge Simpson to poke fun at these grossly mismatched couplings produced by nerdy, horny and socially awkward sitcom writers.
Then we have a woman whose actions confirm sexist pre-1950s stereotypes about woman being impressed solely by shiny objects, with their only purpose in life to obtain marriage. Remember the old joke about girls only going to college to get their M.R.S. degree? In full disclosure mode, this portion of the ad hits home with me on a personal level. Last year I suffered a (for lack of a much better word) traumatic experience related to the engagement ring I provided for my live-in girlfriend. Well, maybe she herself is/was the trauma. Or maybe she just sucked- plain and simple. After all she spent more than half the year “pushing the tempo” on me. It was too early and inappropriate for her full court press, open floor running and gunning. My slower, Princeton style half-court set was what the relationship required.
Back to the point, if I can realize that one grossly dysfunctional, valueless, misguided, deluded and backwards individual is not indicative of an entire gender, then all men can and must. This commercial pretty much tells us that marriage is the only goal for all women all the time. And I refuse to accept that simplistic supposition.
On to the guys, well this is the same old story- that we men are all drunk, one-dimensional, cartoonish troglodytes. We are incapable of thinking beyond ourselves and we can’t function without beer.
Well go f*** yourself Coors.
And congratulations on what you “accomplished” here, you slammed both sexes in less than 30 seconds.
You are now boycotted for life. Even though I would never drink your crappy beer anyway.
Written by Paul M. Banks, President and CEO of The Sports Bank.net , a Midwest focused webzine. He is also a regular contributor to Chicago Now, the Chicago Tribune’s blog network, Walter Football.com, the Washington Times Communities, Yardbarker Network, and Fox Sports.com