New England Patriots Skill Position Guys: Extremely White


rob gronkowski_bibi jones

The New England Patriots and Duke Blue Devils have a lot in common- east coast powerhouse, dynastic programs. Both are a very popular/polarizing brand; best embodied by their Mt. Rushmore level Coach (Bill Belichick and Mike Krzyzewski) who inspires both admiration and hatred. They sit in similar pedestals in their respective worlds of college basketball and the NFL.

This year, the Pats have yet another trait in common with Duke: white players everywhere, in places you don’t often see Caucasians. If you’re a white, blue-chip hoops recruit, you’re most likely going to Duke. If you’re white and good, but not elite, you might be headed to Wisconsin, Butler or Notre Dame.

And in 2012-13, if you’re a white receiver or tailback, you might be a Patriot.


The most powerful weapon Tom Brady has to work with is Wes Welker, the greatest slot receiver in NFL history. NFL Network analyst Michael Irvin called him the best receiver in the game right now.

And he inspired a great parody song. “Moves like Welker, moves like Welker, moooooooooooooooves like Welker.” Watch it here.


When Welker is covered, Brady next looks to Rob Gronkowski, a big, fast third year tight end out of Arizona. Unfortunately, he’s been very injury prone this year.

He reached 20 touchdowns in 26 games, faster than any tight end in history. Chicago Bears icon Mike Ditka required 31 games to reach that mark. And that’s “Gronkowsking” on the field.

Off the field, he may just be my favorite player in the league by a far margin! He’s funny, colorful, zany, and outspoken.

Make sure you have a valid passport for international travel, and list all the goods you intend to declare because we’re about to enter Gronk Nation. It’s a land that includes posing for risque pics with porn star Bibi Jones while she wears his jersey, or shirtlessly tweeting pics with large phallic symbols to supermodel Kate Upton.

In a world of corporate controlled communication and sanitized image manipulation, he is a breath of fresh air.

danny woodhead

And don’t forget tailback Danny Woodhead, not to be confused with the infamous Danny Woodcock! Yes, an actual Caucasian at the position, what a very endangered species.

Paul M. Banks is CEO of The Sports, a Google News site generating millions of unique visitors. He’s also a regular contributor to Chicago Now, Walter Football, Yardbarker, and Fox Sports.

A Fulbright scholar and MBA, Banks has appeared on live radio all over the world; he’s also a member of the FWAA, USBWA and SPJ. The President of the United States follows him on Twitter (@Paul_M_BanksTSB) You should too.


  1. Can anyone image if a Black reciever was on youtube or in a public picture using a stand as a phallic symbol or posing with prostitutes (porn stars) – being characterized as a “breath of fresh are”? What a crock! Now back to reality.

    1. Is NE the best team in the NFL – No they lack the key ingredients adverse to what this article so conspicuously celebrates.

    2. UCONN is the present NCAA national champs in basketball. How many white players did they have? Should that be celebrated?

    3. The number one team in the country in College football only starts 2 whites out of the 22 defense and offensive starters. Should that be celebrated?

    4. Of the 22 players the Green Bay Packers start on offense and defense only 6 are white. Should that be celebrated? They are the best team in the NFL and Super Bowl Champs.

    5. The President is Black – Touche!

  2. Maybe I should have included a disclaimer in here. At the very beginning of the article. I’m not exactly celebrating this fact here among the NE skill positions- I’m simply pointing out a funny statistical anomaly. I’m not cheering this, simply stating the obvious.

    I’d be more than willing to get into a discussion about race and social justice, and all the other issues that come with it. just not here- this is a goofy piece not a serious one.

  3. And I totally agree with on….your opening point. If a black player did that the mass media probably would show their inert racism by treating that incident unfairly.

    and NE isn’t going to win it all. Their defense is too poor. Even if they make it to the SB, the Packers would crush them.

    And re pt. 5, I voted for Obama, I plan on voting for him again. I’ve written numerous articles praising him and will likely write many more.

  4. TheRealTruth says

    Don’t get all defensive “Truth,” we all know black people are good at football and other sports. This article is just pointing out a rarity of white position players on one team, its certainly not “celebrating” anything. Also, if you want to talk about celebrating stuff, look at black history month (observed every single year since 1976), that’s all about celebrating blacks. Do whites have their own month? No. As for part 5 of your post, I voted for Obama too, and I probably will again. In case you didn’t know, Obama is interracial, so he is just as white as he is black. Touche to you sir.

    PS: if you are going to use big words to prove your points, at least use proper grammar!

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