True White Sox fans NEED to hate the Twins, not the Cubs


coors light twins

As the second of the Chicago intra-city series commences this weekend, you’ll hear a lot of vitriol for the Cubs from White Sox fans. And that is very misguided. A $146 million team that is hopelessly under .500 and nowhere near the NL Central race is not to be feared, or hated. They’re to be laughed at and pitied. Just be thankful your team doesn’t insult your intelligence by charging $70 a seat for the worst views in the entire stadium.

No, my Sox Nation friends, there is a legitimate threat, and it’s located much further north.

By Paul M. Banks

hate twins

Let’s say you live on a middle-lower middle class block (the AL Central Division, obviously the AL East is the gated country club subdivision in your town) where you (the Chicago White Sox) seem to be the most successful guy on the block, except for that guy two houses over (Minnesota Twins) who always seems to upgrade his house before you do. And he somehow paid 1/3 as much for your house as you did. He also seems to get the newest gadgets and luxuries before you do- at half the price and without the hassle you seem to have it obtaining them. His wife is also just as attractive as yours; except she’s not crazy like your spouse is. (But your wife is crazier in the sack, so that’s some consolation).

On this street, occasionally somebody shows up to the block party and does really well for themselves (Cleveland or Detroit), and then there’s one guy on the block who lives in a dilapidated shack, and is up to his eyeballs in debt (Kansas City). In this scenario, it’s pretty clear who you need to direct your hatred towards.

That’s why this silly Cubs hatred needs to stop RIGHT NOW!

Want to know my litmus test for determining if you’re either a.) a drunk, idiotic meatball Sox fan or b.) true fan of the game/the Sox with an adequate knowledge base? I’ll simply ask you who you hate more- Twins or Cubs?

Look, I understand the whole class warfare thing in hating the Cubs, but that’s also a really stupid and self-conscious reason. I grew up in the Southwest suburbs (SICA! And Sox country!) I live now just a ten minute walk from Wrigley Field. Every time I get on the L to go anywhere, I have to look at one wall of Wrigley at a train station with Cubs propaganda EVERYWHERE! And it doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

I don’t care- neither should you.

A second reason most Sox fans hate the Cubs is the old “they get all the attention in this city! The media favors them, Chicago Cubune etc.” To that I say- Are you seriously stuck in 7th grade? Why do you care about popularity contests? You can see your team- on television, at the Cell. There’s plenty of coverage available. Heck, maybe your should just read this site more often- we’re very Soxcentric!!!

And I understand that having a chip on your shoulder defines you as a White Sox fan. I have more than a chip on my shoulder- it’s probably a whole city block. But your chip can be like Ryan Leaf (the most infamous NFL Draft bust of all time) and it can destroy you. Or your chip can be like Michael Jordan, and it can motivate you to destroy your competition. Or better yet, you can just have a healthy relationship with that chip.

Sox fans, keep the attitude, really. But- the whole “second team in the second city” chip? Sorry, it does nothing for us. Focus your hate where it belongs: on the smallball, small market team that is ALWAYS in it at the end, no matter how bad they might look in July or June. They are our only truly worthy adversary. And until this year, they played in the sh***est stadium in the American League. So now we have to find new material to make fun of them for.

And it’s worth it too. Yes Twins fans, our hatred of you is indeed a complement. You run a clean, solid program. The Cubs? treat them with the ignorance they deserve. Because like Ayn Rand once said “indifference, not hate- is the opposite of love.”

Paul M. Banks, President and CEO of The Sports , a Midwest focused webzine. He is also a regular contributor to Chicago Now, the Chicago Tribune’s blog network, Walter, the Washington Times Communities, Yardbarker Network, and Fox

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