Welcome to the sixth annual NCAA Tournament National Championship Drinking Game, one of our favorite articles every year here at The Sports Bank. If you missed our first five editions, you can check out the 2009 Michigan State vs. North Carolina version, the 2010 Butler vs. Duke edition, 2011’s UConn vs. Butler, 2012’s Kentucky vs. Kansas, and last year’s Louisville vs. Michigan National Championship drinking game.
Even if you do not have a rooting interest in tonight’s National Championship between the Kentucky Wildcats and UConn Huskies; invite some friends over, buy a heck of a lot of booze, follow our drinking rules, and it will be as much fun as if your own team was playing.
Our lawyer insists we add the following: The Sports Bank is not responsible for anyone dumb enough to actually try this and the harm to his/her body that would certainly occur if this game was played during the National Championship. If you are idiotic enough to attempt keeping pace with this game, please have your local emergency room on stand-by and do not drink and drive. Thank you.
Every time one of the following happens; take the required amount of drinks:
One of Aaron Harrison’s game-winning shots is replayed:
Down a gin martini with lots of ONION garnish
Jim Calhoun is shown in the crowd:
Make yourself an Old-Fashioned
Shabazz Napier’s mom is shown in the crowd:
Fireball shot (because she’s a fireball in the stands, you see where I’m going here…)
Napier hits a nasty shot:
Do a “Shabazz” shot. Use your own creativity to decide what a “Shabazz” shot is but we feel like it should be lit on fire and done while everyone around you is doing jazz hands.
The refs go to the monitor to review a play:
Waterfall. You better have like seven cans of beer ready because this will take at least five minutes to complete
Julius Randle is referred to doing something “manly” or “beastly”, etc:
Scotchy, scotchy, scotch
John Calipari yells at one of his players (re-using this one from 2012):
Shower yourself in Franzia so you can symbolically cleanse the sleeziness off yourself
The phrase “one and done” is used:
One swig from an everclear bottle, because then you’ll be done
A ridiculous bench celebration is shown (most likely UConn’s “arm swing dance”):
Last person to stand up and do a celebratory move of their own has to slam the remainder of everyone else’s drink
If Wisconsin’s Frank “The Tank” Kaminsky gets mentioned:
Skip ahead to :47 and do this:
If UConn wins the National Championship:
Shnorkel! Crack open a Red Bull can like you would a beer can if you were readying to shotgun it. Before doing so, pour vodka into the hole of the can. Shotgun, then pretend to grenade throw the empty can at anyone in your group who picked Kentucky to win.
If Kentucky wins the National Championship:
Give the Wildcats a ton of credit. They pulled it together when it counted most and pulled off an incredible stretch of wins against high level competition; Wichita State, Louisville, Michigan, and Wisconsin. Can’t help but be impressed by that…
David Kay is a senior feature NBA Draft, NBA, and college basketball writer for the Sports Bank. He also heads up the NBA and college basketball material at Walter Football.com and is a former contributor at The Washington Times Communities. David has appeared on numerous national radio programs spanning from Cleveland to New Orleans to Milwaukee to Honolulu. He also had the most accurate 2011 NBA Mock Draft and the most accurate 2012 NBA Mock Draft on the internet (Yup, repeat champ… #humblebrag), and finished with the second most accurate 2013 NBA Mock Draft (nearly a three-peat.) You can follow him on Twitter at David_Kmiecik.