We’re just days away from the start of NFL training camps! And I’m currently shopping for a new favorite team. Jay Cutler is my favorite player, but the Bears and the Patriots are the two teams I’ve loved in the past. There are/were “creative differences” between myself and both franchises that make it impossible for us to be together ever again. So after breaking up with both I look for a new team before the 2013 NFL season starts.
We’ll do this just like the playoffs. We’ll see who advances out of each division, through a mock postseason, and mock Super Bowl. Today, the AFC East:
Miami Dolphins
Pros: the starting QB, even though he sucks, has a wife that broke the internet on 2012 NFL Draft night. So all of us draft geeks profited off that one. They were the setting for Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, so there’s that. A decent tradition of winning. Their colors are weird but in a cool way.
Cons: something just doesn’t feel right, doesn’t make sense. There’s nothing compelling about the Dolphins, or the AFC East for that matter. They made it to a “Hootie and the Blowfish” video. I’m not supporting “Hootie’s” team. That’s gross!
New York Jets
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gross. disgusting. I can’t associate myself with these people. Next!
Buffalo Bills
Who’s masochistic enough to willingly sign for that? This division blows.
The Dolphins are ok, but they’re not advancing. No division champion or wild card emerges from the AFC East.
Paul M. Banks is the owner of The Sports Bank.net, an affiliate of Fox Sports. He does a radio spot twice a week for 95.7 The Fan. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook