The Final Four of the Milton Bradley Bracket is upon and it is time to unveil the biggest losers. And unlike the TV show, this is not a good thing. Remember, this is my opinion; this is no one else’s opinion, but mine. But that is the great thing about the Anti-Bracket (formerly known as the Douche Bracket)… you get to vote on my opinion.
So, let’s get moving. The final two matches of the Milton Bradley bracket are below.
#1 Jay Mariotti
Mr. Mariotti is the strong favorite in this bracket and, even though Seth Greenberg made a fool of himself recently, Mariotti was able to cruise in the second round. Mariotti was prepared for a tough match-up against “Sports Bloggers who hate Bill Simmons.” The Bloggers cruised past “People who already hate the Ricketts family” to earn the match-up with Mariotti. In the end Mariotti proved way too awful to top and former Chicago Sun-Times scribe advances to the regional final.
Vs.
#5 People who “Like” their own statuses on Facebook
The “Status-Likers” prevailed in their first-round match-up against “People who starts fights on Twitter.” It was a close battle at first, but when you think about it, the Status-Likers are in a totally different douchey category. The Status-Likers earned a second-round match-up against Keith Oblermann who easily cruised to victory over “People who do not think Community is funny.” Keith Oblermann is atrocious, but the Status-Likers were just too pathetic to overcome and move on to the regional final to take on the No. 1 seed.
#15 James Franco
In what could be called a stunning upset, the 15th-seeded James Franco shocked the No. 2 seeded A.J. Pierzynski in the first-round. Franco was an underdog, but after his bomb at the Oscars followed-up by him allegedly pointing fingers at others for the episode, Franco has built the repertoire to advance far in this douche-baggery of event. Franco then met “Chris Bosh Flops” in the second round after the Floppers had pulled over a minor upset over 7th-seeded Doug Gottlieb. Again, though it is an upset on paper, no one should be surprised that Franco won again and advanced to the Regional Final.
Vs.
#3 Digger Phelp’s Highlighter
The pathetic-ness of pairing a pink highlighter with a pink tie speaks for itself. I mean, do I really need to spell this one out. Digger Phelp’s highlighter is a downright dumb fashion statement or attention-grabbing stunt. The Highlighter destroyed “People who check-in on Facebook multiple times a day.” It is not even close. And that says a lot based on my personal feelings about those who check-in multiple times a day. The Highlighter squared-off against Sammi Sweetheart eeked out a victory over “Put It On the Board … Yes!” I am a Cubs fan. I hate that line. I really hate it. Sammi Sweetheart is that much of a joke. In the end, the Highlighter was simply too terrible to lose and knocked out Sammi on its way to the Regional Final.
Be sure to vote in our other Regionals:
The Ty Cobb Regional
The Kardashian Regional