Chewy Luis is the news; once again.
Controversial striker Luis Suarez, pictured above gently biting himself, is likely to be sold from his club team this summer. He will likely become a much richer man because of it. The world knows Suarez by his national team Uruguay, and of course his bite on Italian Defender Giorgio Chielini. His club team is Liverpool FC in the English Premier League.
However, a deal to La Liga side Barcelona seems imminent; provided he behave himself. He has to abstain from biting people to get his pay. And that’s no small task considering that Suarez has bitten opponents on three occasions. The transfer is nearly complete. The only hold up is Winger Alexis Sanchez, and determining how he figures in this deal.
Until we can publish this deal as done, enjoy this hysterical novelty Luis Suarez beer bottle opener:
The Suarez bottle opener is now for sale. (https://t.co/Nzwpl4PQvK) pic.twitter.com/PxXhTPqHBk
— Meredith Frost (@MeredithFrost) July 4, 2014
According to the Daily Mirror, via Fox Sports “Paper Chase,” Luis Suarez could earn $68 million playing for Barcelona – but only if he agrees to a special ‘bite clause’.
The Spanish side are offering the Liverpool striker a five-year deal worth £160,000 a week to move to the Nou Camp. But Barcelona chiefs are insisting that the contract contains special clauses to ensure that he behaves well both on and off the pitch.
Suarez received a nine game ban from international play for his third biting offense, although his second offense got him ten games. That’s FIFA logic for you! Remember, this is the same organization that is holding the World Cup in a place with summer high temperatures in the 110-120 degree range. Luis will also be banned from any play, for club or country, for four months. That’s something both Barca and Liverpool need to take into account when negotiating this deal.
The entire world had fun at the expense of Suarez last week, and this photoshop probably “won the internet” for at least a month. However, in defense of Luis Suarez, Chiellini did say himself that the punishment against his attacker was unjust and excessive.
If the deal happens, we can unofficially change the name Barca’s home grounds from Camp Nou to Chomp Nou.
Paul M. Banks owns The Sports Bank.net, an affiliate of Fox Sports and Yahoo! The Postgame. He’s been a guest on news talk shows all across the world. Banks has been featured in numerous media outlets including NFL.com, Forbes, Bleacher Report, Deadspin, ESPN, NBC, the History Channel and more. President Barack Obama follows him on Twitter (@paulmbanks)