Stereotypically Vanilla Sportswriter Twitter Accounts Totally Suck



John Oliver is completely correct when it comes to describing what a “social media expert” is. The British born American comedian and late night host called it a “meaningless title” “where the only qualifications are wanting it bad enough and not caring if people hate you.”

So as you traverse through the post ahead, in which I completely eviscerate the cliched sportswriter Twitter, know that I am not pretending to be an expert on these matters, not do I aspire to be. I’m just giving my opinion on the staleness of the status quo. And for a lot of you reading this…well, buckle up buttercup, because you might be in for a bit of a rough road if you’re easily offended.   

john oliver

I know much of this will hit home for some of you, and if you don’t like it, then just unfollow me. And if that’s what you got to do, well then bye Felicia!

I totally understand that for many of you, your employer has set up requirements restricting what you can and can’t tweet, and that’s what makes you so vanilla. That totally sucks and I feel bad for you, I really do.

Personally, I would think that “opinions expressed are my own and not that of my employer would be enough,” but apparently in many cases it’s not, and that’s unfortunate. However, at the end of the day someone who provides you with health insurance and pays your salary does have the right to tell you what to tweet and what not to. Independent contractors do not.

It’s astounding that I even have to say that, but I’ve been in talks with companies that put that idea forth, and I rightfully laughed them off before rejecting the idea outright.  

smartphone addiction

I’ve unfollowed a lot of accounts that act in the mold of stereotypical sportswriter Twitter, and after I’m done here, I’ll be unfollowing a lot more.

Why? Because it’s soooooooooooooo borrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring.

Basically stereotyped sportswriter Twitter consists of running a Twitter account where you tweet nothing except what falls into the following categories: play-by-play, score updates, press conference quotes, the “view from the office today” photo cliche and promos for your articles and/or public appearances.

It’s staying in your lane, and never once even remotely considering the idea of leaving that lane. Stereotypical sportswriter Twitter is basically what happens if someone told you “stick to sports” and you treated that command as a religious edict.

Here’s what we recently wrote in our recent essay about how ridiculous and stupid the concept of “sticking to sports is” 

Human beings, who exist in real life, are multifarious, complicated organisms with multiple sets of values and ideologies.

“Stick to sports” is an expression instructing a human being to be a crude, one-dimensional cartoonish stereotype. It’s “stay in your lane” on steroids.

Stereotypical sportswriter Twitter involves submerging any semblance of a human personality, and showing no signs that any actual individuality exists. It’s great for people with no to little social skills. (Isn’t it odd how we never use the phrase “social skills” except when describing someone who doesn’t have them?)

Cliche sportswriter Twitter mostly consists of doing something that an app can do. It’s the perfect example of a human being reducing his/herself to an automaton.

Viewing it is about as exciting as watching television only for just the commercials. You may be saying, “don’t be a coward, show us some examples.” My answer to that is where do I start? And why should I single some people out, when so many are guilty of it?  

Besides, if you want your account to be nothing more than a glorified RSS feed, well, it’s your prerogative. It’s just astounding that here in 2019, this kind of behavior is still the majority rule.

Paul M. Banks runs The Sports, which is partnered with News Now. Banks, the author of “No,  I Can’t Get You Free Tickets: Lessons Learned From a Life in the Sports Media Industry,” regularly appears on WGN CLTV and co-hosts the “Let’s Get Weird, Sports” podcast on SB Nation

You can follow Banks, a former writer for NBC and Chicago on Twitter here and his cat on Instagram at this link.

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