Saturday brings the CBS Sports Classic, a college basketball double header featuring four of the sport’s most storied programs, to the United Center in Chicago. It’s UCLA vs. #15 Ohio State in the undercard (game preview at this link), tipping off at 2pm CST. The heavyweight bout is the #9 North Carolina Tar Heels vs. the #19 Kentucky Wildcats; tipping off at 4:15 local.
Now there are plenty of industry standard game preview articles out there for this headliner match-up, but we decided to go in a different direction. You already know how most head coach press conferences go- lots of cliches, platitudes and corporatespeak.
But what if you were able to do a Q&A with North Carolina Tar Heels Head Coach Roy Williams, and he had absolutely no filter at all during it?
Well, it might look something like our discussion with @DaggumRoy, the funniest college basketball head coach parody Twitter account that you will ever find. He has 20,000 followers for a reason.
We hope you enjoy it, and that it helps you prepare for the big game this weekend. (Editor’s note: this interview was conducted before Roy Williams’ contract extension was announced)
Get that Calipara money. https://t.co/G0NDCyq3CV
— Daggum Roy (@DaggumRoy) December 19, 2018
Get that Calipara win too
— Daggum Roy (@DaggumRoy) December 19, 2018
You must be feeling a lot better about your team now after what they just did to Gonzaga?
I think it’s kind of ridiculous that the Zags are still ranked ahead of you guys in both polls though –
I’ve been closed personal friends with Mike Few for a good long time now. But if we didn’t have no problem with ‘em when they had that Bigfoot, then we wasn’t gonna have no problem with ‘em now.
Really, ain’t Noboda had no trouble with Gonzaga’s this year, have they? …Oh. Mike.
… Gotdern, Barnes bout beat ‘em.
Your rant after the Michigan game in the BIG/ACC Challenge was epic, in what ways have you seen your team grow and develop since then?
Well, we’ve seen our ballteam develop thar asses out to the practice court for bout 25 days in a row of run-n-pukes. Seen ‘em growed thar fannies nicely into a couple hunderd run-n-the-damn-stairs-til-I- tell-ya. Seened all kinds a growth and development.
What have you seen from the tape in scouting Kentucky so far?
Son, we don’t use tape na more. All vid-ya now.
Your thoughts on Calipari’s latest group of frosh…
They ain’t as good as Mike’s.
‘Course, Mike couldn’t beat lil bitta Gonzagar, so I don’t know what to make of ‘er.
Kevin Johnson kid’s pretta good. Point guard’s runned away. Got an EJ and a PJ.
Brung in that old kid – Reid somethin’ other. Had to leave the West Coast on account of not bein’ a p… Believe he left Stainford for that faincy Kentucka educat… Hell, I don’t know what he’s doin’ thar.
By the way have you seen that Coach Cal 30 for 30, if so what did you think?
I don’t watch the television ‘less it’s the basketball or the NCIS. And I ain’t watchin’ 30 of nothin’!
… Come to think, last weekend, Wander and I did do a nice NCIS marathon – was bout 10 episodes, believe. You know, the NCIS – most poplar show on televison – ain’t never wonned Award One. Ridiculous. Emmy, nothin’.
E-gregious.
What match-ups are you going to be looking to exploit on the offensive end of the floor? defensive end?
Any and all’s. Who crap’s gonna guard 7? Who’s gonna guard Kenna? Lil?! No. Caim Johnson at the 3 line? Know they cain’t guard Lukes.
Calipara ain’t exactla runnin’ a Beilein 1-3-1 har. Run’s that dang weave over and over again. Been postin’ up some dadgum 6’-5” kid. Johnson.
Got a kid name a Hero. White kid.
Look more like a ol’ Dukes “Lehigh”-type squad.
What do you see as the keys to victory on Saturday?
We gotta remember play a squirt a Defense, but really we’re just lookin’ score the ball. Get it off the board and Get.
John’s got about 1, 2 kids score. KJ, PJ, and who’s the Hero? Double zero. Ain’t got much.
I take it you’ll bring the boys to the Michael Jordan statue for a photo-opp again like you did in 2014, after all “the ceiling is the roof.”
I dunno. He’s a lot a work.
Paul M. Banks runs The Sports Bank.net, which is partnered with News Now. Banks, a former writer for NBC Chicago.com and Chicago Tribune.com, regularly appears as a guest pundit on WGN CLTV and co-hosts the “Let’s Get Weird, Sports” podcast on SB Nation.
He also contributes sociopolitical essays to Chicago Now. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram. The content of his cat’s Instagram account is unquestionably superior to his.
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