When it comes to creative names in the college sports these days, the Key & Peele “East-West College Bowl” sketches changed the game forever. Remember that this March Madness.
Jordan Peele and Michael Keegan are two brilliant humorists and social theorists, and their three part sketch about the uniqueness of player names is a must watch for anyone who has been involved in college athletics. In the third installment, they even brought in some of the real life players, with distinctive names, to complement the fictional ones.
That said, we still can find a good list of fun to say (and type names) in the 2021 sweet sixteen, the best field in recent memory for serving this purpose.
So let’s just dive right in.
First Team All-Name Team
G Baylor Hebb, Loyola
G MaCio Teague, Baylor
G Chris Arcidiacono, Villanova
F Logan Cremonesi, UCLA
F Flo Thamba, Baylor
Baylor, the top seeded team in their region, is the number one overall seed in this tournament, name wise. So much so that there is even a guy on another team with Baylor as his first team. It would be funny if he marries a Texas Tech fan someday.
Also, having a capitalized letter in the middle of your name, as MaCio Teague does, earns you first team status, as does being an Arcidiacono. Logan Creomnesi, who hails from Oceanside, California, sounds like the villain in a bad 90210 reboot.
Second Team
G Moses Moody, Arkansas
G Paxson Wojcik, Loyola
G Anthony Polite, Florida State
F Zach Loveday, Baylor
ATH AJ Hedgecock, Oregon State
No idea what the “athlete category” is supposed to mean in basketball, but I am familiar with its designation in football. Hedgecock does sound like an animal that would probably be in the same genus or family as the beaver, which is Oregon State’s mascot name.
Honorable Mention
G Tyger Campbell, UCLA
G Britton Johnson, Alabama
F Woody Newton, Syracuse
F Dhamir Cosby-Roundtree, Villanova
Woody Newton definitely sounds like a character in a fictional 1920s era gangster film. With Britton Johnson, it’s unfortunate that it’s not spelled Briton. God Save the Queen.
Now we move on to the all-time team, where Maryland claims the March Madness honors above every other program.
All-time March Madness Name Team
Paul M. Banks is the Founding Editor of The Sports Bank. He’s also the author of “Transatlantic Passage: How the English Premier League Redefined Soccer in America,” and “No, I Can’t Get You Free Tickets: Lessons Learned From a Life in the Sports Media Industry.”
He currently contributes to Ravens Wire, part of the USA Today SMG’s NFL Wire Network. His past bylines include the New York Daily News, Sports Illustrated, Chicago Tribune and the Washington Times. You can follow him on Twitter.