Douchebracket Ghost Regional

Welcome to the d-bag bracket, a tournament deciding the most insufferable douchebags in all of sports. Please feel free to comment as much as possible, because your feedback will help determine who advances to the Final Four.

This is the bracket compiled by “The Ghost in the Machine”

1. Ron Santo- Not sure what’s more annoying, his failure to realize what’s occuring at any given moment during a Cubs game or his pathetic wait by the phone every 2 years to see if the HOF will let him in.

2. Ronnie Woo Woo Wickers- This guy shows up at Sox games. Would Soxman go to Cubs games?

3. Hockey spectators who don’t wait for the whistle.-
I missed Havlat’s  GWG last week vs Anaheim b/c the clown in front of me decided he needed to leave while play was still in progress.

4. Mike Murphy- 670 the Score midday host makes me feel like I’m listening while wearing earmuffs. Not sure he’s ever had an original thought that made sense either.

5. Adult Autograph seekers-
Let’s hang out in front of a hotel or stand in line at a fan convention for hours so that maybe my baseball card will get signed and I can put it on Ebay and make $5.

6. People Who listen to games on the radio via headphones while they’re at the game.

If you need the play by play, stay at home. If you don’t know what’s happening you shouldn’t call yourself a fan of the sport you’re attending anyway.

7. Sports Talk Radio callers with ficitious trade proposals which will never happen.

Uhhhhhh, what if the Bears traded  (insert young stud player not on team here) for (insert mid round draft pick here) and (insert bad, aging, overpaid veteran here). (Heavy breathing)

8. Baseball Fans who cheer for their team after a runner beats out the throw to 1st thwarting a possible double play.

If you’re cheering for the hustle, great, but they should be hustling all the time. This play is no better than a pop-out to the infield.

9. Players who trash talk late in games when their team has no chance of winning.

Congrats Mr. WR for getting a first down. Thanks for making the over-the-top first down gesture so everyone can see you. Oh, wait! Your team is down 21 points with 2 minutes left? Get your a$$ back in the huddle.

10. ESPN/USA Today Men’s College Basketball Poll

You’re telling me that these coaches actually sit down and fill this thing out?

11. Steve Downie-This 1st round draft pick has been eligible to play in approximately 162 pro games in the past 2 seasons. He’s been suspended for 40 of them comprised of a 20 gamer for blindsiding a player from behind and another recent 20 gamer for slashing a linesman. I like the goons in hockey, but this crosses the line.

12. Bear Weather- One of the biggest fallacies in Chicago Sports. MORE TO COME
13. Fans who run onto the field during sporting events

I’m drunk! My friends will give me $100 to run on the field! OK! I now have 5 200+lb security guards on top of me. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. BARF

14. NFL Rule Committee for not allowing the ball to be used as a prop.

Come on! This is fun; it doesn’t hurt anyone’s feelings. Creativity should be encouraged!

15. Storming the court when your team has a reasonable chance to win the game in the first place.

This unfortunate trend should be reserved for when your school has no business beating the team it just did. Not when, for instance, the 24th ranked team beats a top 10 team. PLEASE!

16. Bill Wirtz

I hope you’re watching what’s going on at the UC. If you weren’t dead, you’d be top 5 on this list, because most likely, the Hawks would still be in the tank.

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