This is from Matt Lindner, Guest Columnist, Purdue alum, and Purdue football fan
While grossly inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, the narrative of sport has a tendency to mirror the narrative of our lives at times.
Which is why, as the final seconds ticked down of Purdue football’s 38-14 loss to Iowa on Saturday afternoon, I was reminded not of my halcyon days as an undergraduate in West Lafayette but rather a particularly nasty fight my then-live in girlfriend and I had more than four years ago.
“Go do something that makes you happy tonight,” she said to me in exasperation after the two of us had spent hours hurling all sorts of invective at one another. After all the arrows had been slung, there was nothing left to say, and she was ready to give up.
I think I’ve finally reached that point with Purdue football.
The Purdue football program, mired in a steady state of mediocrity since it was announced that Joe Tiller was going to be succeeded by the ironically named Danny Hope, has taken a steady and sharp nose dive since the calendar changed to 2013. Things started with a 58-14 blowout loss to Oklahoma State in the Heart of Dallas Bowl, a game the 6-6 Boilermakers really shouldn’t have even bothered taking part in.
Since then, there’s been a glimmer of hope for Purdue football in the form of a new coach with experience rebuilding at least one train wreck – and yes, the pun is intentional – of a program.
Darrell Hazell turned Kent State around, every alum said the moment it was announced Hazell was going to succeed Danny Hope as head of the Boilermaker eleven, he’ll whip our program into shape in no time flat!
After all, how much worse could it get than getting eviscerated by a second-tier Big-12 team in a bottom of the barrel bowl game?
That fleeting glimmer of hope that accompanied Hazell’s hiring would soon been flattened by a cement truck of sad trombone.
Hazell’s hand-picked offensive coordinator, Jim Bollman, decided he had seen enough of West Lafayette after six weeks on the job and fled the tire fire that has become the Purdue football program for the greener pastures of Michigan State, another basketball school with a slightly less depressing football squad.
Rob Henry, a fifth-year senior who opened the season as Purdue’s starting quarterback, isn’t even wearing the same number he started the season with, let alone playing the same position.
“Go do something that makes you happy.”
After losing his starting signal caller gig just a few weeks into the season, Henry was converted into a backup safety, a switch that required him to trade in his no. 15 – once worn so proudly by legendary quarterback Drew Brees – for no. 22.
Not that the switch has done anything to bolster the offense – or the defense, for that matter.
In six out of nine games, the defense has allowed at least 30 points. Consequently, when Danny Etling connected with Kurt Freytag for a two-yard touchdown following an Iowa muffed punt, it was the first touchdown the Boilermakers had scored in two and a half games. Purdue football had gone 144 minutes of game action without scoring. From September 28th-November 9th, Purdue football ran no plays in the red zone.
Saturday was the absolute nadir though.
Purdue’s defense made a pedestrian Iowa offense look like a juggernaut, yielding nearly 500 yards total (307 on the ground) to a team that came into the game ranked 81st in the country in total yards per game.
In past years, there was hope. This season, there has been none.
While you can break up with a significant other, as mine and I would do about three weeks after that fight, your alma mater doesn’t afford you the same luxury.
But you can turn off the TV on Saturday afternoons, or in her words, “go do something that makes you happy.” I’ll always be a Boilermaker through and through, but the TV is off the rest of the season on Saturday afternoons.
Here’s to next year.