The Cubs and Nationals had no game on Sunday. This was due to the annual Pride Parade taking place near Wrigleyville and all the serious traffic and logistical issues that the event has always created, it was announced in February—again, in February—that the teams would play a scheduled doubleheader Saturday and enjoy an off day Sunday and save a lot of people inside and outside the ballpark a lot of headaches.
All that doesn’t matter to some people, though. A regular season baseball game occupying three or so hours of their televised Sunday afternoon is far more important than a major cultural event and the security and planning needed for it. Plus, it’s always a great time to be homophobic and maybe play on the tired and uncreative “Cubs fans are gay” stereotype.
Stupid people took to Twitter to voice frustration and mouthfart passive and aggressive bigotry because that’s what stupid people do with the internet. Let’s sit back and watch a parade of awful stumble by us, shall we?
https://twitter.com/Brendan9_81/status/483447487147954176
82 years, actually. Kind of like the age when it’s acceptable to wear that bowtie, champ.
https://twitter.com/InSamWeTrust/status/483441169624363008
Just because of the crippling traffic issues, already packed public transportation, and police presence needed. Pretty stupid.
gay pride parade cancels Cubs game https://t.co/Ucg3UFBEoH | What an utter disgrace. Shame on @mlb & @cubs for allowing this. Disgusting!
— SGT PHIL (@U_S_American) June 29, 2014
No game was cancelled. Reading is hard. You’re disgusting.
https://twitter.com/Libertea47/status/483331450339475458
There is a pattern, of course, in a situation like this of people who claim to be religious but who also happen to really hate a group of people.
Pride Parade is probably the dumbest idea Chicago has made since the making the Cubs.
— Bryyy (@BryBoyy) June 29, 2014
Says the guy 43 miles away from it in Frankfurt.
https://twitter.com/RicksTotenkopf/status/483573355430158338
“I support the gays” is a fantastic beginning to an intelligent argument. And then there’s that “but.” That loaded conjunction that always follows “I’m not racist,” “I don’t hate gay people,” and every other hamfisted attempt at justifying prejudice.
https://twitter.com/CHRISODOM1/status/483347805017489408
And Chris favorited the following tweet, which I wanted to believe was sarcasm at first, but now I’m not so sure.
The Cubs and Nats wont be playing baseball today because of traffic concerns surrounding Chicago's annual gay pride parade. #ObamasAmerica
— The CCSFL (@TheCCSFL) June 29, 2014
https://twitter.com/derek2jack/status/483353025042317312
It’s actually completely sensical and totally ethical. If there was a prize for wrongest tweet you’d… well… tie with all the rest of these people.
I hate that damn pride parade I'm glad it's by the Cubs stadium
— Adolfo Gómez (@adolfoag3) June 29, 2014
I’m betting you’ve never actually witnessed it, but don’t let inexperience stop you from forming conclusions about things that make you uncomfortable. Unless you went to that famous one in Berwyn.
https://twitter.com/thundering_hurd/status/483065637741551616
Massive traffic problems and safety issues that would ensue from them are not as important as regular season baseball.
https://twitter.com/mattmallian/status/482982743509196801
Sundays were meant for football, son.
First Sunday since 1932 without a #Cubs game. Wanna know why? Because of the stupid Gay Pride Parade. How anti-American is that?
— Matt (@CappareIIi) June 29, 2014
Cultural parades are very American. They celebrate all the unique entities that make up this country. That E Pluribus Unum thing on the Seal of the United States kind of hints at that. So does Emma Lazarus’ poem on the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty. We’re supposedly all about being a melting pot here, but people like you continue to show how that’s a myth. For a guy who works in the communications department of a sports team, you communicate pretty well.
https://twitter.com/shefly13/status/483271640629776384
#whathasthiscometo
@MitchKwik @MLB Oh geez, give me a break
— Scott?? ?? ?? (@Steelersmo85) June 29, 2014
It was learned after her death that Nell Carter was actually a lesbian.
@MitchKwik @MLB I'm all for their rights and more power to them. Just sick of " notice me" shit.
— Scott?? ?? ?? (@Steelersmo85) June 29, 2014
I’ve long said that here on the South Side of Chicago that I’m sick of the Irish always demanding to be noticed in March.
Cubs played a double header yesterday they say bc there wld be to much traffic but there wld b no one at the game #pride #soxnation
— Patrick Cunningham (@Ugotcrabs1) June 29, 2014
HAHAHAHA CUZ CUBZ IZ THE GHEY
https://twitter.com/cjbrill91/status/483237134640242688
I’m going to put together research leading to a Venn diagram of people who kant tipe gud and people who use angry emojis unironically.
https://twitter.com/JohnC1908/status/483081314615058432
AND WHY CAN’T I MARRY A BASEBALL GAME? #THANKSOBAMA
https://twitter.com/plahitkos/status/482938242778411011
Can’t image why the world is turning to crap.
https://twitter.com/NatFan9/status/482900503395713024
What date is the Fourth of July this year, by the way? Oh, wait, he’s not done.
How could they ask the cubs to move tomorrow's game if the schedule's been out since September? What am I supposed to do with my Sunday?
— natfan9.bsky.social (@NatFan9) June 28, 2014
I'm not angry that they're having it, I'm angry that they're having it and inconveniencing me and my Nats #selfish
— natfan9.bsky.social (@NatFan9) June 28, 2014
I was gonna tweet Chicago Pride but I have a feeling they wouldn't answer
— natfan9.bsky.social (@NatFan9) June 28, 2014
No, I’m sure they value your opinions greatly.
https://twitter.com/drdunc1220/status/482872602948820995
Well, that tweet doesn’t necessarily mean the guy is prejudiced, but…
https://twitter.com/drdunc1220/status/482873343260229634
What a sad life to spend time tweeting at C-SPAN in earnest.
https://twitter.com/justinbjorseth/status/482643720601231362
Oh, I get it. You’re insinuating a connection between the Chicago Cubs and homosexuality. Very witty. Where do you get your inspiration from?
@justinbjorseth read this, I think you will now understand what I was trying to say about soccer https://t.co/eZgoXxGGBW
— jwoo (@juliawool1) June 30, 2014
https://twitter.com/ayygabbykayyy/status/483690998611312640
For years scientists have tried to isolate a gay gene or find hereditary connections and biological explanations, and it was in front of our not gay faces all along. Amazing.
Hopefully you got through this piece without getting the gay all over you. Otherwise just watch some baseball, and it should slide right off.
ou can follow Tim on Twitter @TimBaffoe.