I’ve had a lot of Aaron Craft in my life. This is the fifth Big Ten Tournament that I’ve covered. Ohio State has reached the final game in every year except this one. Aaron Craft and the Buckeyes have reached the semi-finals in all five and won the whole thing three times. Believe me, I’m well acquainted with the ways of Aaron Craft and recent Buckeyes basketball. I’ve been surrounded by BUCKNUTS! aplenty.
But Craft is just the current example of a bigger trend:
highly successful and very accomplished college basketball players that inspire a tremendous backlash. It’s kind of like how Austin Powers was described: “women want him, and men want to be him.” Except in reality it’s: “his fans, ESPN love him, everyone else hates him.”
Tyler Hansbrough. J.J. Redick. etc etc. now it’s Aaron Craft’s turn.
Here’s how you become Aaron Craft level polarizing in just six easy steps.
1. Be white.
The mainstream media is extremely favorable to Caucasian college basketball players. It sounds racist/white supremacist, and on some level it certainly is. However, the only color this is really about is green- for dollar bills. The networks overtly pander to white people because they make up an overwhelming majority of this nation. See the underrated cult classic “Great White Hype” with Samuel L. Jackson and Damon Wayans. Same plotline from the boxing promoters applies in college hoops.
2. Be very good at college basketball. Good enough to win awards, but not good enough to leave early for the NBA.
When you hear a college basketball fan say “dude, that’s guy’s been there forever.” Well, I get what you’re saying, but it’s just that you’re talking about someone who’s a great player, but doesn’t have the skill set NBA GMs are looking for.
3. Be a Duke player.
Usually writing about someone from an elite private school with a tiny alumni base is page views death. With the Blue Devils, it is anything but. Hmmmm. I wonder why?
Oh yeah this is why:
Enrolling at Duke will make you polarizing. Enrolling at Duke and being white, ramp the polarization up a notch. Play guard….yes, be a white guy, who plays guard at Duke and…..just shut down your Twitter feed now. You don’t want to see what’s in your mentions.
4.Be a four year starter at a marquee high major program
Refer to point two. This may become the Aaron Craft rule in years to come. On Friday, in the Big Ten Tournament quarterfinals, Aaron Craft literally put up a 666. He had 6 points, 6 rebounds, 6 assists. So there I just gave the haters way more ammunition. The point is, don’t blame Aaron Craft for this. Don’t blame Psycho-T, or Greg Paulus, or Trajan Langdan of these kids. Blame the media instead!
My colleague @PaulMBanks just got beat out by a Wisconsin cheerleader for that loose ball. He is not as gritty as Aaron Craft.
— Travis Miller (@HammerAndRails) March 15, 2014
5. Be “grindy, gritty, blue-collar, lunch pail, guy who makes hustle plays, gets after it at both ends, “efforting” and plays the game the right way”
Hire a publicist with serious connections so that every television personality that calls your games uses every euphemism possible for “Caucasian” and/or “really good at defense, but can’t shoot in the ocean/score to save their lives.”
That was such a gritty missed 3pointer, like those grindy, blue-collar, lunch pail missed FTs. #AaronCraft #PlaysTheGameTheRightWay
@PaulMBanks Impressive, stuffing in every Aaron Craft cliche in less than 140 characters!
— The Frustrated Fan (@Frustrated_Fan) March 14, 2014
— Paul M. Banks (@PaulMBanks) March 15, 2014
6. Become an ESPN darling; an adopted son
ESPN color analyst Dan Dakich famously said during the Ohio State vs. Iowa game, “if you don’t like Aaron Craft, then there’s something wrong with you.” Well, as you can see from this post there’s all kinds of things wrong with me, but you knew that well before you clicked on it. (Nothing wrong with watching this Aaron Craft GIF though) Dakich’s comment led to some opposing Big Ten student sections publishing literature insisting that Dakich was Craft’s adopted father. And that’s hilarious on multiple levels.
So I leave you with that. Happy Selection Sunday! And best of luck to Aaron Craft and THE Ohio State Buckeyes in the NCAA Tournament. Vaya Con Dios, Craft and company. Scrap out as many Ws as you can.
Paul M. Banks owns The Sports Bank.net, an affiliate of Fox Sports. An MBA and Fulbright scholar, he’s also a frequent analyst on multiple news talk radio stations. The former NBC Chicago and Washington Times contributor has also been featured on the History Channel.