I want the Chicago Blackhawks to go all the way to the Stanley Cup Final, and win it. But I won’t be tweeting much about it. Nor Facebooking about it. The meathead bandwagon idiots who don’t even know what a power play is, believe “Chelsea Dagger” is not Amstel Light commercial crapola and use the games as an excuse to get blasted have gotten to me. Remember, I want the Blackhawks to win it all but Chelsea Dagger is a song about doing cocaine with a prostitute.
During the second round versus the Minnesota Wild I’ve avoided Twitter during both games. It’s liberating, and wonderful.
I just can’t read Twitter during Blackhawks postseason games anymore. Everyone is just too annoying and stupid. I see the same unoriginal tweets over and over and over again. That’s what driven me away. Too many gems such as these:
1. one-two word only tweets
“KANER!” or “Kanerl! Goal!”We’re watching the game too. We know he just scored. So if this is all you bring to the table of conversation, then I have to say: “hey, thanks for coming!”
2. Use of excessive ALL CAPS TWEETS to denote that YOU’RE SHOUTING AT ME.
ALL CAPS is like wasabi, it’s only meant to be used sparingly. Do you want a Twitter bio looking like this LA Kings season ticket holder? You don’t want to sound like PHIL DAVISON, REPUBLICAN PARTY CANDIDATE FOR STARK COUNTY TREASURER, DO YOU?
3. Excessive score, time updates
Every Blackhawks postseason the bandwagon gets fuller and fuller with people who know nothing about hockey. But they just have to jump in with whatever is trendy or popular at the time, so they have to say something.
And each Blackhawks postseason game you see more people chime in with useless stuff like “cue Chelsea Dagger” whenever the Hawks score. We’re watching the game too. We can read numbers and letters! Well, at least some of us can. Between all the beat writers and the official team accounts monitoring the game, the Twitter timelines are clogged up enough with this stuff. And every Facebook status update is of course Blackhawks postseason related. But that’s another story for another time. Enough, I’ll just go away for a little while.
Paul M. Banks owns The Sports Bank.net, an affiliate of Fox Sports. He’s also a regular analyst on national talk radio. Banks, a former contributor to NBC Chicago and the Washington Times, has also been featured on the History Channel. President Obama follows him on Twitter (@paulmbanks)Powered by Sidelines Follow paulmbanks