Cutty Awards: NBC Sports Group, Popeyes Bahamas Bowl, Gronk Party Boat


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You know the drill by this point. It’s the Cutty Awards, also known as the Jay Cutler Awards for the outstanding excellence in the Field of DOOOOOON’T CAAAAAAAARE.

We receive a lot of banal and pointless story pitches and press releases every week. Some are bad; some are worse. This week, these three stood out as the worst.

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Rob Gronkowski driving pace car at NASCAR race


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Rob Gronkowski, also known as NFL Ryan Lochte, will get the Father’s Day weekend party started at Chicagoland Speedway on Saturday, June 20. Gronk, along with his brothers Gordie Jr., Chris, Dan, Glenn and their father, Gordy Sr., will serve as co-Grand Marshals for the NASCAR race.

So many GRONKS! Gronk Nation!

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Tom Brady and Deflate Gate: it pays to cheat


New England Patriots QB Tom Brady

I have a friend, Jake Haas, whose motto throughout college was, “if you ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying.” Mr. Haas was not so much referring to his academic career, but to the countless drinking/video games that we partook in during our time receiving a higher education.

Much like in Mario Kart (N64 is THE only version), cheaters have a better chance of winning and if the short cut doesn’t work, you can always use another shortcut later in the race. Obviously, Tom Brady and the Patriots have played a couple of races on the Mario Kart circuit.

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Rob Gronkowski has an “interesting” bowling team name


rob gronkowski

Rob Gronkowski is pretty much football Ryan Lochte; I think we’ve established that. Gronk is a lot more interesting and fun in small doses; not with the non stop Rob Gronkowski exposure that accompanied the Patriots Super Bowl run. Of course, Gronkowski isn’t as interesting or as funny as he used to be (we’ve covered why that is here), but he still makes bowling more interesting than it typically is, or could be.

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VIDEO: Daniel Tosh UTTERLY DESTROYS the New England Patriots


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Dear Comedy Central star Daniel Tosh,

Thank you.

Signed,

America.

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VIDEO: Keith Olbermann DOESN’T CARE about the Super Bowl (I don’t either)


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Thank you Keith Olbermann for being brave enough to say what I’ve been thinking and feeling for the past 17 days.

Keith Olbermann doesn’t care about the Super Bowl. Neither do I. Sure, I may go next year, or in future years, to cover the parties and red carpet events. But I don’t care about the actual game anymore. Neither does Olbermann.

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NBC’s Super Bowl XLIX goal: 125 million viewers


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Stay with me, this is the ONE TIME that talking about nielsen numbers is actually interesting to somebody who doesn’t work in television.

The ratings for Super Bowl XLIX might become actual legitimate news.

As I’ve said numerous times before, TV ratings are the fantasy football leagues of the media world. To you, your numbers are THE MOST important thing in the entire world. To the rest of the outside world….It’s like Jay Cutler, it’s DOOOOON’T CAAAAAREEE.

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Why ESPN only SEEMS like it’s “Eastern Seaboard Programming Network”


adnan virk espn

Many of us have made the joke: “ESPN, Eastern Seaboard Programming Network.”

Or we’ve at least discussed the famous “east coast bias” at not just ESPN, but within the entire mainstream media.

In May, when The Sports Bank first visited Bristol, we had a frank and honest discussion with both Steve Levy and the late great Stu Scott about the Tim Tebow/Lebron James/Johnny Manziel over-coverage.

This past week we had an exclusive with Baseball Tonight anchor Adnan Virk (@AdnanESPN) Virk was gracious enough to sit down with me when I returned to The Mothership, and we covered a whole host of topics, including the infamous ESPN east coast bias.

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From colorful to corporate: the Rob Gronkowski story


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Remember when Patriots Tight End Rob Gronkowksi first entered the league and he used to do things like Tweet a shirtless photo of himself stroking an oversized phallic symbol at Kate Upton?

And posted more shirtless photos of himself with a porn star wearing his jersey?

Yeah, Rob Gronkowski doesn’t do things like that anymore. He hasn’t done things like that for years. It’s what happens when the NFL “No Fun League” gets their handlers to reshape you.

Today, the Rob Gronkowski session at Super Bowl Media Day was the most boring thing imaginable.

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Brady, Belichick “Legacy” = this Super Bowl’s worst cliche


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Tom Brady and Bill Belichick will team up to fill the void left by Peyton Manning last season. While last year we heard “Peyton Manning legacy,” “What will Peyton Manning’s legacy be?”

“How will this game affect Peyton Manning’s legacy?” ad nauseam at this a time year ago…take it away NBC’s Cris Collinsworth.

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Super Bowl could be Darrelle Revis’ last game with Patriots


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Super Bowl XLIX could be the last time that Darrelle Revis suits up for the New England Patriots. Indeed it’s for real- Revis Island could be relocating away from Cape Cold and Martha’s Vineyard. (and Nantucket, can’t leave them out).

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Five REALLY POINTLESS Super Bowl 49 Story Pitches


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We still have a week until Super Bowl 49, and already the idea of “our product relates to the Super Bowl because of reason XYZ” (no, it doesn’t, sorry) has been beaten to death. TO DEATH!

The “harrowing bye week that no one enjoys” is now over. And indeed my inbox has made it feel like “the road to the Super Bowl is long and pointless.”

If you had trash like this e-mailed to you in bulk everyday for two weeks straight you might begin to feel the same.

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