Welcome to what may or may not be the final edition of “The Cuttys,” or the Jay Cutler DON’T CARE awards. They honor, as one Facebook commenter put it:
“all the non-news that’s fit to delete.”
Or more literally: “terrible attempts at creating news, that I instantly deleted upon seeing it in my inbox.”
All media members receive dozens of press releases and story pitches from publicists, Sports Information Departments, Media Relations and PR people every week. This one was the most utterly asinine and completely worthless that I received this week.
And as always, in case you missed it, here’s how these awards got named.
If this is the final edition of the Cuttys we’re going out with a bang. Today we honor every sports network: FOX, ESPN, CBS, NBC, COMCAST. Because they all do the same exact thing EVERY SINGLE WEEK. Usually the Cuttys honor a single press release, and single out one person or organization. This is every network; over a lifetime.
You have no idea how absurd it is. I wouldn’t be wasted by time on this unless this practice was as disgusting as it really is.
All the major sports networks love to send out self-fellating email press releases about their ratings numbers. They go to great lengths to cherry-pick the numbers and send out “news” and “really important information” about increases in their ratings. And ratings records. Now if you work for a television network, yes ratings are everything, but why should anyone else care?
I’ve seen sportswriters mention these numbers, and cite them. I stop reading those columns, and I don’t go back to read those writers again.
NO ONE OUTSIDE OF THE TELEVISION NETWORK CARES!!!!!!!!!
NOR SHOULD THEY!!!!
NO ONE CARES!
I delete all of these press releases at first sight and never open them. You may think I’m overdoing it, and wonder why the ALL CAPS!?!?
Simply put, these networks send out 5-6 of these per week, every week. I’m not joking.
They somehow, in their delusions of grandeur and egocentrism, believe that multiple “news events” occur in their Nielsen numbers every week. It’s only getting worse. More obnoxious every week with the fellatio they give themselves in these horrible pieces of manipulated propaganda. If you think teams and their PR departments lie to you through press releases…think of how bad a media company press release is. Imagine the lies in these mailings.
Here’s the rest of the Hall of Shame.
Cutty Award archives:
8-29-14: Taye Diggs, Jon Beason
8-1-14: Milwaukee Bucks
7-25-14: Grantland/30 for 30 Shorts
7-18-14: THE Ohio State University
Paul M. Banks owns, operates and very often writes The Sports Bank.net ,which is partners with Fox Sports. Read his features stories in the Chicago Tribune RedEye edition. Listen to him on 1620 The Zone. Follow him on Twitter (@paulmbanks). His work has been featured in hundreds of media outlets including The Washington Post and ESPN 2