(UPDATE: Jay Cutler and FOX Sports both release statements announcing the former QB has retired and thus become a broadcaster; and a social media backlash ensues)
If you don’t like Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler, you will now, because this story makes Jay Cutler a million times more likable.
It’s taken over three years but…the underground, urban legend of Jay Cutler has finally gone mainstream. For years, my friends and I have discussed this AWESOME story. I’ve hinted about knowing it in past articles, but never published any details.
Well here it is in all it’s glory:
At a trendy sushi restaurant in Chicago during the off-season, a guy goes to the bathroom and sees Jay Cutler, hat on backwards, at the urinal. So the guy starts going to the bathroom next to him and says:
“Hey, Jay I also went to Vanderbilt, we might know some of the same people…”
Jay cuts him off mid-sentence with: “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”
Bar Stool Sports did an interview with Cutler. And he neither confirmed nor denied. He said he didn’t remember, but inferred that the fawning guy was likely exaggerating it. Cutler didn’t yell or scream.
I dug up a witness to this story. Here’s his story and he’s sticking to it. He did say that the yelling part of the story is exaggerated.
Anyways, I told it live on stage at The Laugh Factory in Chicago (YouTube Video. And on numerous radio stations all across the world; including CBS Radio Chicago.
Jay Cutler, we salute you! As does this Bears fan, via his jersey. This incident has even been re-created in a parody music video. Why not? It works on so many levels in so many different situations in life.
Hear an insipid anecdote? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”
Boring, pointless story? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”
Telling me how your fantasy football and/or bracket is doing? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”
Posting pictures of your food to Facebook? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”
Coverage of women’s basketball? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”
Press releases about individual player/coach awards? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”
Spring college football intra-squad scrimmages? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”
Tim Tebow? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”
Paul M. Banks runs The Sports Bank.net and TheBank.News, partnered with FOX Sports Engage Network. and News Now. Banks, a former writer for the Washington Times, NBC Chicago.com and Chicago Tribune.com, currently contributes to WGN CLTV and KOZN.Follow paulmbanks