Staging college basketball games on aircraft carriers was always an awesome idea, in theory. (Or perhaps, on paper). In actuality, it was a logistical nightmare, and thankfully, it went away for good…until now. Yes, for the first time in a decade, we will have aircraft carrier college basketball, and again, don’t be surprised if it’s a total disaster.
Ahead of Michigan State vs. Gonzaga on the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln, this Friday night, we revisit this op-ed, posted eight years ago to the day:
We have so many Aircraft carriers in this country that we use them as tourist sites and college basketball courts. It reminds me of when a stand-up comedian, who’s name I can’t recall, made this crack about the Dutch and their windmills:
“Oh, you have windmills in Holland. We have windmills in America too- we use them for miniature golf.”
We have 12 aircraft carriers, no other country has even one. Well, China had one but they sold it to some other country, who then converted it into a hotel/casino. Not making that up, it’s real.
There are three aircraft carriers residing in just San Diego right now. It’s also the city where the first aircraft carrier took sail in 1920. Naturally, it’s the place where the first, and most, aircraft carrier college basketball games have taken place.
It all started with Michigan State versus North Carolina on the Friday night before Veteran’s Day in 2011.
There were a lot of concerns that inclement weather could delay or cancel the game, but it went off without a hitch.
It was played on the U.S.S. Carl Vinson, the same carrier that dropped Osama Bin Laden’s body into the sea.
Of course, if you watched it on television, you had to endure a 45 minute infomercial for the military-industrial complex on ESPN before a ball was actually even tipped.
Again not an exaggeration.
ESPN and the United States Armed Forces really rammed the military recruiting pitches down our throats that night; just like they do every single Veteran’s Day. But President Barack Obama was in attendance, so you know that they had to do it in order to please their corporate sponsors.
Then came Ohio State versus Marquette in 2012, played on the U.S.S. Yorktown in the bay at Charleston, South Carolina. It ended at halftime due to condensation on the court.
Thanks to more condensation, which make basketball courts rather unsafe, San Diego State-Syracuse had to be postponed and Florida-Georgetown were cancelled. Players were put in danger, so aircraft carrier college basketball had to go.
This summer I toured the U.S.S. Midway, THE BEST tourist attraction in all of San Diego, bar none.
As much fun of an idea as it was, as kick-ass a backdrop as it provides, as novel a concept, as perfect an appeal to all of our innate jingoism, patriotism and nationalism as aircraft carrier college hoops is…it’s just not practical.
Basketball is meant to be played inside, not outside.
We’ll have to save the “U-S-A!!!!! U-S-A!!!!” chants for the Olympics.
It’s awesome, and well worth the $20. That’s a steal. It hosted San Diego State versus Syracuse in “The Battle of the Midway” and you can see a ball autographed by both Steve Fisher and Jim Boeheim on your way out.
Speaking of things on their way out…aircraft carrier college basketball is now permanently extinct it seems.
None were scheduled in 2013-14, and none are scheduled for 2014-15.
Paul M. Banks is the Owner/Manager of The Sports Bank and author of “Transatlantic Passage: How the English Premier League Redefined Soccer in America,” as well as “No, I Can’t Get You Free Tickets: Lessons Learned From a Life in the Sports Media Industry.”
He has regularly contributed to WGN News, Sports Illustrated and the Chicago Tribune, and he co-hosts the After Extra Time podcast. Follow him and the website on Twitter and Instagram.