Sometimes in life, things make so much sense that it blows your mind. There are instances where two objects fit so perfectly that you have to unfortunately realize that it likely won’t ever happen.
That’s too bad, because Wayne Rooney to the Chicago Fire is so perfect on paper that it makes your head spin. Let’s discuss.
It’s been a rough start to the 2016-17 season for Wayne Rooney. He’s seen himself the subject of scorn from both Manchester United and England fans.
Rooney is the skipper for both tremendously storied giant clubs with huge followings of fans unrivaled in their passion. First came the United fanzine poll that saw 99.9% of respondents wanting Rooney dropped. It happened as Manager Jose Mourinho demoted him. England Caretaker Manager Gareth Southgate did likewise. Now we have reports that Mourinho wants to ship Rooney out of Old Trafford.
Before you start to feel too sorry for him, remember that Rooney signed the richest contract in English football history at the time, just a few years ago. Looking ahead to the future, where does Rooney go now? Chinese Super League or American Major League Soccer, as both leagues have deep deep pockets, but weaker levels of talent.
That’s the place for Rooney to
1.) maintain a very handsome salary and
2.) face competition more friendly to the current form he’s been displaying as of late.
Rooney reportedly isn’t interested in moving to China, so like Eddie Murphy, “Coming to America” right? FOX Soccer did an article listing several MLS clubs that could be a destination for Wayne Rooney, and the Fire came up second on the list.
FOX writes: “This should be an obvious landing spot. Big city, available Designated Player spot, team that could use some publicity. The problem is that the Fire haven’t shown much interest in spending money or anything that resembles ambition. If that changes …”
You got to think that Rooney would love coming to the greatest summer city in the entire world, right?! (Hey, I know to dare not ever say “greatest city in the world”, as every single Broadway musical ever as already ascribed that status to New York)
Especially when his new season would be during summer, as the MLS operates its schedule opposite to the rest of the world.
https://twitter.com/PaulMBanks/status/740394820183687168
Of course, Ryan Rosenblatt brought up the exact same sticking point that I was going to make- the Fire do convey no sense of real ambition or desire to spend money. Basically, they come off with an organizational ethos of IDGAF. They’ve been such dreadful losers for so long that they’re currently invisible in the local sports scene. Yes, in the nation’s third largest market, they’re not just irrelevant, but invisible, as every time I write about the club I feel horrendous pangs of remorse.
Why? Fire material gets such tremendously low page views that to write about them is allow your time to be burglarized. (Maybe this time will be different though as we’re promoting a rather revolutionary idea. *fingers crossed*)
It’s time for #cf97 to prove me and all the other detractors wrong by making a splash hire.
Of course, there’s still the issue of where they play.
Toyota Park is a gorgeous, state of the art facility, but it lies in the absolute middle of nowhere. It’s not geographically all that far from the downtown, but the highways that lead you there are always ridiculously congested making your travel time very long. In a move of total bone-headedness, they also placed the venue in a location inaccessible to public transportation.
Thus on the rare occasions that Toyota Park is totally rocking (like when I covered Mexico versus Panama on October 11th), getting in and out of that place is a logistical nightmare. Whenever I’ve covered the Fire, the stadium has been half empty and lacking in atmosphere.
When I’ve covered the women’s professional team, the National Women Soccer League’s Red Stars, the venue has been so empty that you could literally count up all the fans to estimate the real attendance. Time to inject some life into an elite place to see a game! This is a moment for the Chicago Fire to step up and make themselves not only locally, but nationally relevant.
https://twitter.com/PaulMBanks/status/732298277933060096
The two teams have worked together before. Reportedly United defender Rio Ferdinand had considered the Fire as a destination once he became as past-his-prime as Rooney currently is. United traveled to Chicago to meet the fire in a 2011 international friendly, so you know they got each other’s digits.
Get on the phone and iron out a Wayne Rooney deal this winter.
Paul M. Banks runs The Sports Bank.net, partnered with FOX Sports Engage Network. and News Now. Banks, a former writer for the Washington Times, currently contributes regularly to the Chicago Tribune’s RedEye publication and Bold Global.
He also consistently appears on numerous radio and television talk shows all across the country. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram and Sound Cloud.