Ha Ha Clinton-Dix is a safety at Alabama. And Ha Ha is Ha Ha Clinton-Dix’s real first name — sort of. He goes by Ha Ha even though his first name is actually Ha’Sean. But Ha Ha Clinton-Dix sounds way better than Ha’Sean, so I’m glad that we can make jokes about Ha Ha Clinton-Dix’s name.
But life isn’t all that funny anymore for Ha Ha Clinton-Dix. The NCAA reinstated Ha Ha Clinton-Dix on October 18 after a two-game suspension. Ha Ha Clinton-Dix allegedly received a loan close to $500 from an assistant strength and conditioning coach. And, before I forget, Ha Ha Clinton-Dix is a potential very high NFL draft pick.
Reading about Ha Ha Clinton-Dix’s mishaps with the NCAA made me wonder what names in college and professional athletics are real and which ones are made up a la Key and Peele, the Comedy Central duo that puts on a great sketch (and now a sequel) of outlandish football names.
Can you guess which names are made up and which ones are from a Key and Peele sketch?
Macgarrett Kings
Kentavious Caldwell-Pope
D’Pez Poopsie
Fartrell Cluggins
Mister Cobble
D’Marcus Williums
Shaquille Love
Ibrahim Moizoos
Lourawls Nairn
Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace
Shamarko Thomas
Barkevious Mingo
D’Squarius Green, Jr.
Loucheiz Purifoy
Tyrek Cheeseboro
Ozamataz Buckshank
LeCarpetron Dookmarriott
MyCole Pruitt
Benedict Cumberbatch
A.A. Ron Balakay
ANSWER KEY! (AND PEELE)
Macgarrett Kings, Michigan State WR; Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, Detroit Pistons SG; Key and Peele; Key and Peele; Mister Cobble, Kentucky DT; Key and Peele; Shaquille Love, Kentucky OT; Key and Peele; Lourawls Nairn, future Michigan State PG; Key and Peele; Shamarko Thomas, Pittsburgh Steelers SS; Barkevious Mingo, Cleveland Browns LB; Key and Peele; Loucheiz Purifoy, Florida CB; Tyrek Cheeseboro, Maryland WR; Key and Peele; Key and Peele; MyCole Pruitt, SIU TE; Key and Peele; Key and Peele.