Breaking: Ha Ha Clinton-Dix suspended indefinitely
This is from new Sports Bank contributor Helen Salinger
Ha Ha Clinton-Dix is a junior defensive back who plays at Alabama. I’d love to meet Ha Ha Clinton-Dix and ask him: “You mean funny haha or just funny funny?”
Never mind.
This guy’s real name is Ha’Sean Clinton-Dix, but he goes by Ha Ha and it reminds me of the XFL player He Hate Me.
And Clinton-Dix reminds some people of former President Bill Cinton and one of his many mistresses, Monica Lewinsky.
Get your mind out of the gutter now — because mine’s already there and there’s not enough room for anyone else. You can figure out the reference.
Clinton-Dix.
Anyhow, or should I say anyhaha, Mr. Ha Ha Clinton-Dix brings to mind this YouTube video that Boss Man Paul M. Banks, honcho and proprietor of The Sports Bank, sent me a while back. I think Paul M. Banks sent me the following video in jest, or maybe it was his way of saying, “Listen, if you wanna work, work and do a post on this skit.”
The clip Paul M. Banks sent me was of Key and Peele’s parody of the East-West College Bowl. It is quite hysterical. You should check it out. Heck, maybe Paul M. Banks is going to make you do the same as he did to me.
Check a smattering of names from the video:
Donkey Teeth, Jackmerius Tacktheritrix, Javaris Jamar Javarison-Lamar, Xmus Jaxon Flaxon-Waxon, Quatro Quatro, Beezer Twelve Washingbeard, X-Wing @ Aliciousness and The Player Formerly Known as Mousecop.
Those are made up, obviously, but Ha Ha Clinton-Dix is not. And it’s funny because reality now is getting to be funnier than the parodies we see on Key and Peele and Stephen Colbert and “The Daily Show.”
If Ha Ha Clinton-Dix gets drafted by an NFL team, and I’ve seen his name in NFL mock drafts, is he going to revert back to his given name of Ha’Sean or is he going to go by Ha Ha — or something funnier. I still want to meet Ha Ha Clinton-Dix — to see if he has a good sense of humor and makes me go HA HA (in all caps, of course).
Paul M. Banks is the owner of The Sports Bank.net, an affiliate of Fox Sports. An analyst for 95.7 The Fan, he also writes on Chicago sports media for Chicago Now. President Obama follows him on Twitter (@paulmbanks)