Jose Canseco playing again: Can-Am League’s Worcester Tornadoes

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Jose Canseco has a new team, maybe that would explain why he left Twitter. He’s going to be too busy playing ball again this summer to tweet. Which is a shame because I’m really going to miss his thoughts on ecological history and maritime disasters.

As he pushes 50 year old, here’s what the slugger is up to:

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Jose Canseco believes Global Warming would have kept Titanic from sinking

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You might have heard something about this ship named Titanic over the weekend. Saturday marked the 100th anniversary of “the night to remember” when the gigantic, and previously declared “unsinkable” ship sunk on its maiden voyage in the North Atlantic.

The culprit was an iceberg off the coast of Newfoundland. But former Oakland Athletics slugger, steroid whistle blower and Twitter attention-whore Jose Canseco believes that wouldn’t have happened had global warming kicked in a few decades earlier.

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Madison Mallards: Jewel of the Northwoods League

In the modern era, the history of minor league baseball in Madison, Wisconsin begins with the Madison Muskies. An Oakland Athletics affiliate in the Midwest League, the Muskies maintained a healthy following in the years following their 1982 founding. The most famous Muskie in history is undoubtedly Jose Canseco.

However, by 1993 Muskies attendance and profits declined and in ’94 the Muskies were replaced by the St Louis Cardinals affiliate, Madison Hatters. They only lasted a year, replaced by the Madison Black Wolf, who lasted five seasons.  This history is all documented along the left field concourse of Warner Park today.

In 2001, businessman and former ballplayer Steve Schmitt, introduced the Madison Mallards to Warner Park. The Mallards made it to the Northwoods League playoffs in 2003, 2004, 2005 and 2006. They have reached the Championship Series three times, finishing as runner-up in 2005 and 2008; winning it all in 2004.

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Minor League Announcer Quits in Midst of Broadcast (Audio)

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A minor league team owned by legendary baseball actor Kevin Costner is winning on the field, but they’ve become an absolute train wreck in the front office. The drama has created a “Field of Nightmares” for a horribly mismanaged ballclub.

The second-year Lake County Fielders played their first 32 games on the road, including two trips to Maui.

They were still in their first home series when Manager Tim Johnson walked out over a pay dispute, and many of the players, smarting for the same reason, showed their sympathy.  The Fielders are said to have traded nine players although it is not easy tracking all of them and released 14 others.  That’s virtually the entire team.

And now their play-by-play guy aired more dirty laundry, on the air! (listen to the whole thing after the jump. Once he gets going it’s great)

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Jose Canseco, Bill Buckner Both Now Managing Independent League Teams

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Big names always offer a special allure. That is why two of the most anticipated managerial debuts in some time in Independent Baseball have been drawing extra attention.  Add together their 4,592 major league hits and 636 home runs plus the side stories of Bill Buckner and Jose Canseco, and it is guaranteed they will produce headlines not just in Brockton, MA and Yuma, AZ, their respective managing haunts.

The very presence of Canseco and Buckner and about a dozen other sizeable major league names who lead Independent teams these days creates a buzz that is not easily captured in other ways.  That buzz, along with the credibility that one hopes comes along, helps not only their community but the entire league in which they work and, for that matter, the entire Indy world of more than 50 teams spread across the USA and Canada.

 

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Jose Canseco Sends Twin Brother in his Place for Boxing Event

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Major League Baseball great Jose Canseco allegedly sent his twin brother and former teammate Ozzie in his place to compete in a celebrity boxing event in Florida.  The promoter got suspicious when Ozzie’s tattoos didn’t match up to the tattoos on Jose’s body in promo photos for the fight.  Rumor has it Ozzie often posed as his all-star brother at baseball card shows.

Check out NMA’s latest video on Jose Canseco’s boxing scandal:

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The Political Steroid Era

By Paul M. Banks

If there’s anything children of this age have had plenty of experience with, it’s cheating. When today’s youth seek role models, the National Pastime is certainly one place not to look. And our leaders in government aren’t much better.

With the recent admission of steroid guilt by Major League baseball superstar Alex Rodriguez, we now have an unholy trinity of the game’s best overall position player joining the era’s best hitter (Barry Bonds) and best pitcher (Roger Clemens), all being disgraced.

In terms of governance, here’s the special group I had ruling over me in 2008. On the Federal level: George W. Bush, state: Rod Blagojevich, congressional district: Rahm Emanuel (the dirt and grime on his record will be unveiled someday when they dissect the amazing rate of return he acquired on his investments), and the Chicago politics of the Daley machine on the city level.

The “Steroid Era” really took off in 1998 with the summer of Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa, but 2001 was probably the most unbelievably awful year possible as Bush, our worst ever president, took office, and Bonds ushered in a new low with his 73* homeruns.

George W. Bush=Barry Bonds
Gotta start at the top with the biggest most powerful players in each game, both of these trust fund babies were born with a lot of the blue chips they held during the heights of their careers. And the chip each one has on his shoulder is partially because each spoiled little boy has defined his actions in adulthood by trying to escape his father’s achievements. The fact that neither one has any actual grasp on the difference between right and wrong causes a treacherous trickle down crisis of confidence.

Eliot Spitzer=Alex Rodriguez

Both high profile New York figures were once rising stars and potential redeemers of the crooked game. Before his involvement with a high-priced prostitution ring became public, Spitzer was talked about as a future Presidential candidate. Before his past steroid use became public knowledge, A Roid was prospectively the man who would make the career home run record untainted again.

Rod Blagojevich=Jason Giambi
A significant player in the fixed game, but history will likely remember each of them as the guy whose cheating was the most painfully obvious of all.

Roland Burris=Jeremy Giambi
Neither really had any authentic power, and both will be remembered more for whom they were close to than what they actually did, if they’re remembered at all.

Donald Rumsfeld=Sammy Sosa
We never heard of either of these guys until the absolute peak of egregiously immoral corruption began. Rumsfeld was the architect of a war that yielded nothing good for anyone except a handful of defense contractors. Sosa was the co-captain of 1998’s “Summer of Steroid Love.” Both are great for ridiculously bad sound bites.
Rumsfeld: “stuff happens,” “there are known unknowns and known unknowns, known knowns” “you go to war with the army you have, not the war you want”
Sosa: “baseball been berry berry good to me.” “I’m a gladiator, it’s hard to stop me.”

Dick Cheney=Rafael Palmeiro Everything Palmeiro did in life will now be a distant afterthought to his emphatic statement, “I have never used steroids- EVER!” a year or so before he tested positive. Cheney likewise had no problem lying straight to your face even though the truth is right in front of you- “we’ll be greeted as liberators,” “the revenue we generate from the oil will pay for the war.” But his most bizarre lie was in the 2004 Vice Presidential debate, when he told John Edwards, “I’ve never seen you before,” despite video existing of him speaking with Edwards on more than one occasion. Sure, I can’t remember everyone I’ve met in my life, but I would hope that if I were Vice President, I could recall meeting the guy who was trying to take my job!

Tom Delay=Mark McGwire We haven’t heard much from either of these guys lately, but let’s not forget how much juice they once had, how much faith the American people once had in both of them…and how greatly they violated that trust!

Patrick Fitzgerald=George Mitchell Somebody needs to prosecute the biggest cheaters of the day. And their massive task requires more help.

2004 Bush voters=Bud Selig
We need a proper nickname for the steroid era of politics, and we also need to remind the enablers that they have a few drops of blood on their hands for the past decade.

Mainstream media=ESPN Maybe this is redundant, but in both cases…so much for the idea of “the 4th Estate” providing a check on power. During the home run chases and the run-up to war, both acted as public relations flaks for the people that should have been under scrutiny.

Condoleeza Rice=Roger Clemens
Neither of these individuals should take up high stakes poker because each one has an obvious and anxious tell that has been on display before Congress. Whenever Rice lied to congressional committees, you saw her face glaze over into a frozen and emotionless state. When Clemens was on Capitol Hill, you saw him nervously lick his lips every time he strayed from the truth.

Pre-invasion Anti-war left=Jose Canseco
It’s hard to find a governmental whistleblower to match Canseco, because so far our politicians haven’t been justly disgraced and punished for their crime. Those “nuts” and “hippies” on the left who shut down roadways all across the country as they protested the start of the Iraq war actually had it right all along. If only we had listened to the fringe. Remember the attacks on Canseco’s credibility? The “opportunistic book seller” had the goods on everyone back in ’05.

A-Rod or A-Roid: a fraud?

By Soxman

Baseball’s best should officially earmark history Is it just me or are you beginning to feel like there may not be a Santa Claus or that professional wrestling might be fake?

For this baseball fan, Alex Rodriguez’s admission to using performance enhancing drugs put every truth in doubt. I remember that when Barry Bonds’ HR records were officially tarnished, sports reporters around the world then appointed Alex Rodriguez as the “savior of the modern era.”  Simply, all believed that when he caught Barry Bonds’ all-time HR record, the legitimacy of baseball these past 12 years would be saved.
Sure, he admitted it…after he was caught!  However, if he was truly an honest person, wouldn’t A-Rod have come clean immediately when people turned to him as the symbol of honesty in America’s pastime?
A-Rod blamed himself and the $252 million contract he signed with the Rangers in 2001 for his decision to use illegal substances.

“I felt a tremendous pressure to play, and play really well” in Texas, Rodriguez said in an interview with ESPN’s Peter Gammons. “I had just signed this enormous contract … I felt like I needed something, a push, without over-investigating what I was taking, to get me to the next level.”

Analysis: You had $252 million reasons to cheat.

In the interview, Rodriguez also said MLB told him in August or September 2004 about the list of names that had been seized by federal investigators. “He said there’s a government list. There’s 104 players in it. You might or might not have tested positive,” he said.

Translation: a sigh of relief that he wasn’t caught.

So now what?  Of course, our undying thirst and curiosity to see the gruesome death of the once mighty Gladiator intensifies.  The soap opera element of this sport intensifies and we turn our attention to the other 103 names on the government list.  Who were they?  Was my favorite player on the list?  Where any White Sox players dirty?

Admit it, sports fans thrive on this National Enquirer type of drama.  Who falls from grace next is no different then America’s fascination with watching Britney Spears shave her head out of mental anguish or Miley Cyrus go from child role model to…whatever she’s becoming these days?

Call me delusional and perhaps just exhausted, but I’m ready for this whole thing to just go away.  The record books of our generation have been forever tarnished and there’s nothing we can do to change the past.  Move on.  We can only learn for the future.

A little advice to A-Rod.  If you are truly sorry for your mistakes, truly do something about it and stop making it all about you.

Simply, it is too early to defend your right to be in the Hall of Fame.  Let your actions and play from this moment forward truly define you.While many will argue that you may or may not have been dirty longer than you admitted, offer to have your “dirty years” removed from the record books.  You said it yourself.  You are still a Hall of Famer without them.
(for stat geeks: From 2001-2003 A-Rod averaged .305, 52 HR, and a .615 slugging percentage per season.  For the rest of his career, .309, 39 HR, .574).

Or, rid yourself of the demons.  Donate all, or a portion of your salary from those “tainted years” to the development of a comprehensive education program for children on the dangers of performance enhancing drugs in sports or other charities aimed at honoring youth integrity and honesty.

To the 103 other players on the list or anyone else who cheated in the past:
Do something original and consider telling the truth.

To MLB, Congress, and everyone else obsessed with the Steroid Era:

We know the decade is tarnished and out of fairness to those who were clean, do not eliminate the record books.  However, earmark it accordingly.

If the number 61* can be earmarked forever because it was achieved by honestly and cleanly playing a few more games, then this era is worthy of distinction as well.

As a final thought:

Among all of the steroid allegations and players who were caught over the past several years, isn’t it a real shame that (regardless of his motivation) the symbol of honesty in America’s pastime is none other than Jose Canseco?

I still believe in this game.

Santa I’m hoping you will get me a new utility belt this year for Christmas.

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