Vancouver Olympics: Week 1 Rewind

By: Melissa S. Wollering

As the Midwest’s premiere sports website, we are breaking down everything Olympics—from uber good to muy mal.  Welcome to the Week 1 Rewind, Week 2 Fast Forward from Vancouver!

No Medal Here: Bob Costas Makes Reference to Alex Bilodeau Getting Laid

He didn’t say those words.  Nope, he didn’t need to.  Really…really? Canadian skier wins first Gold in the games for Maple Leaf Land; Bob Costas cracks sexual joke. Dirty old man…

I would also rather watch the Flying Tomato hold his own microphone and put an IFB in his ear than have Cris Collinsworth reporting from Vancouver. He’s terrible.  TERRIBLE. Someone send me for crying out loud. Send Snooki to interview the athletes…something, anything!

No Medal Here: Richmond Olympic Oval’s Zamboni

All you have to do is smooth ice. You’re a machine that smooths ice and you’re smoothing OLYMPIC ice.  Our country’s dudes and chicks with huge thighs have been waiting four years to come and skate on your bumpy oval and the machine assigned to the task isn’t up for it.

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