Recovering From A Tragic Loss

By Joe Plunkett

When a tragic loss hits you, there will be more things to deal with other than the the event itself. You have to deal with the grief and then with how this loss will impact your life. Many of us will seek the help of professional care, too many others might divert into unhealthy ways to cope with overwhelming feelings, while others will try to do it on their own. In all cases, it’s difficult to imagine yourself being happy ever again.

Reading this will help you to recover in a healthy way and give some steps you can take to make recovery a bit easier for you.

Express your thoughts:

People will have different initial reactions to a loss. These reactions are numerous and both physical and mental. Shock, confusion, irritability, insomnia, headaches and a host of other reactions can happen. When these symptoms are not attended to properly, it can lead people to clinical depression. At one point, it will be of great importance to express yourself to someone, be it a professional or someone close to you. It happens often that people feel the need to keep up a strong front in the face of tragedy. It’s normal to feel grief, but you might not be aware that grief triggers certain emotions that you might never have experienced before so expressing yourself is important.

Guilt:

Survivor’s guilt is a real thing. It doesn’t have to be surviving a certain event, like a car accident, but someone else in the car didn’t survive. The simple fact that you are still living, while someone else you love is not, is enough to bring on survivor’s guilt. A person in this state of mind will ask themselves what they could have done to prevent this loss. For example, a mother may convince herself she was a bad mother and this lead to the loss of her child. A husband might convince himself if he tried harder, his spouse would still be around, and so on. These thoughts drag us down and keep us at a standstill when we have to work harder to move forward.

According to Julia Cannon from QHHTOfficial.com, people feel lost in life when they hold on to past mistakes, which weigh them down and stop them from focusing on the present.

Time:

They say time heals all wounds, but those who have faced a tragic loss, which is almost everyone, tend to question that. To a certain degree time will help you but time alone, without some help, might not. During the time, certain actions need to be taken. The idea of time healing everything assumes that time is a healing factor on its own, which is not the case. Ignoring emotions and letting time take over will not help much if you are not also doing things to help. Be kind and good to yourself during this time. While making milestone decisions is not advised during grief, making small changes are. For example, if you were used to having supper at a certain time every day with a loved one who is no longer with you, change that supper time to a different hour, or change the place where you used to eat together. This way you are utilizing the healing time you need to your advantage.

No rules:

It is said that there are 5 stages in grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression then acceptance. Yet, not everyone has to go through these stages to heal. Some people don’t even go through one of these stages. That doesn’t mean they are not grieving or feeling an abundance of pain. There are no hard set rules to what you should or should be feeling. It’s also assumed if you’re not crying then it can’t be that bad. Who said? Everyone is different and loss hits people in different ways. Don’t let others or things you read tell you how you should feel and decide for you your emotions.   

This is what everyone wants after facing a loss. Eventually, your life will get back to normal in terms of things you do, whether it’s going to work, studying, etc. What you also want to achieve is for your emotions to get back to normal. It usually isn’t easy, but it’s not some far-fetched goal. There will be times when some things will trigger your pain, but with good support and some effort on your part, you can do it.