With curling there are two cliches that always accompany the two week period in which we see actual mainstream interest in the sport every four years. The first is “oh, it’s not really a sport.” The second is “oh, I can do that, anybody can, we could all be winter olympic athletes.”
First off, it’s worth noting that the curling I participated in is not really curling at all. I went to an establishment located at the west end of the SoDaSoPa (for our South Park viewing readers) that is Randolph Street in the West Loop.
Winter sucks, it’s been here too long already, and it shows no signs of leaving any time soon.
The best thing you can do to combat the winter of our discontent (i.e. every winter) is to get out and do stuff regardless of the weather.
Curling is the ice form of bocce ball/Italian lawn bowling/what bowls is in England/quasi-cold bowling. In other words, it’s a beer game, best played in a beer garden.
And the objective is to get the stone into the area of the ice painted exactly like a British warplane and referred to as “the house.” (as it’s a Canadian game, you can pronounce in “the hoose.”)
Also, feel free to get in touch with your early 1990s hip-hop slang and make as many “in the house” rap references as possible.
However, like I said before, this is not actually curling, because all you are doing is throwing the stones, hoping to get them into the house.
You are not going onto the ice and sweeping around the stones, and that is a good thing.
You don’t want to mix drinking alcohol with walking on ice; period. And make no mistake about t, the vibe that surrounds curling, at least here, is more than a bit brotastic.
It is not as easy as it looks though- the stones are heavier and more difficult to control than one might expect.
Also, you do have to get some exercise at least because you are constantly standing up, kneeling down, repositioning yourself, and extending outward. Have you ever done a bunch of lunges for the first time in a very long while? And then wondered why you were in a lot of pain the next day?
So no, you can’t perform at curling as well as the olympians can. You do need a level of skill as this game can be just as frustrating as it is fun.
And if you’re going to say this isn’t a sport, then you have to apply that logic to several other Olympic sports like throwing a spear (javelin), engaging in the 11th century version of what a military air force was (archery), tossing a mini cannon ball (shot put), twirling around and tossing a heavy frisbee (discus) and…well, you get the point.
At the end of the day all that matters is whether the activity is enjoyable or not; who cares if it is/isn’t a sport/game/whatever.
Curling is outdoor fun, and this time of year, such activities are in very short supply.
Paul M. Banks is the Founding Editor of The Sports Bank. He’s also the author of “Transatlantic Passage: How the English Premier League Redefined Soccer in America,” and “No, I Can’t Get You Free Tickets: Lessons Learned From a Life in the Sports Media Industry.”
He currently contributes to USA Today’s NFL Wires Network, RG.org and Ratings.org. His past bylines include the New York Daily News, Sports Illustrated and the Chicago Tribune. His work has been featured in numerous outlets, including the Wall Street Journal, Forbes and the Washington Post.