We’re just days away from the start of NFL training camps! And I’m currently shopping for a new favorite team. Jay Cutler is my favorite player, but the Bears and the Patriots are the two teams I’ve loved in the past. There are/were “creative differences” between myself and both franchises that make it impossible for us to be together ever again. So after breaking up with both I look for a new team before the 2013 NFL season starts.
We’ll do this just like the playoffs. We’ll see who advances out of each division, through a mock postseason, and mock Super Bowl. We start with the NFC North:
Green Bay Packers
Pros: I have a lot of friends here who are Packers Backers so there’s an automatic group for camaraderie and built-in game watch parties! I am A PART OWNER OF THE TEAM. Yes, I’m an idiot who purchased one of those ceremonial stock shares. I love it. I framed it. I think it’s cool. I should root for a team that I own a small fraction of. This website’s second and third most prominent writers are Packers fans. Already on their mailing lists.
Cons: those Packers fan friends are DRUNKS!!! They have a Facebook page for their clique’s moniker “The Too Drunk to F%& Crew.” Adopting the Packers looks like I’m trying too hard to get back at the Bears. It’s like having a revenge affair with your ex-fiance’s sister. Although….maybe I should contact my ex’s sister, she was very decent looking…eh, she’s kind of psycho and drunk like her sister, I’ll pass.
Detroit Lions
Pros: You get to root for Matthew Stafford (see above for why that’s good). NO ONE will accuse you of being a bandwagon jumper or fairweather fan. Mikel LeShoure is the greatest running back in the history of my alma mater. I covered him extensively while he was with the Illini. Their DL is bad ass. Honolulu Blue and Silver are really cool colors. I have the Michigan State connection, so that’s close by!
Cons: Mikel Leshoure is a THUG! Ndamukong Suh is impossible to root for. Do I want to sign up for a lifetime of 5-11 and 4-12 seasons. They’re kind of like the Kansas City Royals of the NFL.
Minnesota Vikings
Pros: uhm, uhh….kind of drawing a blank here. My favorite author, F. Scott Fitzgerald is from St. Paul, and……
Cons: no genuine benefits.
Division champ: Green Bay Packers. No Wild Cards advance from this division. Packers win this division by at least four games.
Paul M. Banks is the owner of The Sports Bank.net, an affiliate of Fox Sports. He does a radio spot twice a week for 95.7 The Fan. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook