By Jake McCormick
In honor of the feeding frenzy of the 2009-10 NBA trading deadline (where if it’s posted, published or tweeted, it HAS to be true), I took minutes (mostly involving the progression of the Kurt Thomas-John Salmons alleged deal) during the Milwaukee Bucks 127-99 slaughter at the hands of the Houston Rockets.
Introduction: The Bradley Center is MAYBE a quarter full four minutes before tip-off. No doubt the crowd is at home refreshing their browsers in anticipation of the potential John Salmons/Tyrus Thomas blockbuster that could change the face of the playoff race.
7:00: Brandon Jennings wins the Eastern Conference January Rookie of the Month. It’s his fourth straight monthly honor in that category, despite his continually declining shooting percentage. Jennings has had less competition for the ROM than a 25-year-old Harvard graduate playing the fifth grade version of trivial pursuit.
First quarter
11:45: In the first 15 seconds into the game, Carlos Delfino takes a 22 foot jumper. You can guess where it didn’t go.
10:30 – 10:00: Brandon Jennings makes his first and second shots of the night from opposite sides of the basket. Hopefully the extended break gave him time to think about not thinking while he’s on the floor.
9:00: Jennings makes his first three, and blocks an Aaron Brooks shot from behind on the next possession. I didn’t realize Brooks shrunk and switched from football to basketball, but it seems like it’s working for him so far.
6:53: Delfino airmails a pass to the stands like Drew Brees. In a related matter, alleged trade chip Kurt Thomas steps in for Andrew Bogut.
5:12: Fellow TSB writer Peter Christian woke up to the delightful tune of a stunningly bold Minnesota Timberwolves trade of Brian Cardinal for Darko Milicic. He’s gotta be feeling like the man who was frozen for five years in South Park and goes into a fit of rage after hearing the Atlanta Falcons made it to the Super Bowl. Come to think of it, Peter probably reacted the same way to that fact too.
3:00: Within 30 seconds of entering the game, Luke Ridnour makes his first basket. Out of everyone on the Milwaukee bench that could be gone in a trade, Ridnour should be the last in line.
1:45: I’m still loving these throwback red Rockets (giggity) jerseys with yellow and white trim. This is mostly due to the fact that I’m trying to concentrate on anything other than the unnecessary timeout entertainment. Call me a sports purist, but I don’t go to games to watch dance teams give the courtside seats a soft-core strip show or out of shape 25-year-olds win McDonald’s burgers.
1:09: Kurt Thomas is 2-2 so far, both from 18 feet out. No wonder he’s coveted by so many playoff teams.
:27: Ersan Ilyasova spots up, releases a very fluid, arching shot, and doesn’t comeclose to the rim. Good to know he got his groove back over the break.
Second quarter
11:45: Sifting through a Twitterfeed working on speed, meth, and two pounds of cocaine, I manage to catch the allegedly soon-to-be-finalized destination for Thomas: Chi-town with Francisco Elson in exchange for John Salmons.
9:57: Bogut comes back in for Thomas. Take a picture: this could be the last time we see Kurt in a Bucks uni.
8:44: It’s really hard not to enjoy the looks on the courtside male fans during Energee’s dance routine. I’m half expecting a couple of dollar bills casually tossed towards center court as the guy leans backwards leisurely.
8:06: Ersan spots up, releases a very fluid, arching shot, and hits nothing but net. He’s consistently inconsistent, if nothing else.
7:49: Houston’s Chris Anderson looks like a groom on My Big Redneck Wedding. Blonde goatees and spiked front hair don’t do much for your street cred.
6:21: Jennings has only missed one shot so far and is running around the court like spiderman. The Bucks are still giving up a healthy number of threes and rim shots.
5:06: Bogut puts a nice spin move on Anderson for a baby hook shot, and follows it up with a tip in on the next possession. I expect nothing less than a 20-10 tonight from the Aussie.
4:05: Start printing those Darko T-Wolves jerseys, Minnesota! You’ve just won the second pick in the 2003 NBA draft!
1:23: Bogut gets his first block of the night. The big guy has really developed a startling presence defending the basket. In trading deadline news, it looks more and more likely Amare Stoudamire is staying in the desert.
Halftime: I head to the media room to escape the BC’s speakers, which are turned up to senior citizen levels so EVERYONE can hear what the announcer’s are saying about the fat guy about to miss a half court shot. This is a vital cog in the flow of the game.
Third quarter
10:57: The Rockets keep answering every Bucks miss/make. Twitter continues to blow up as the march of John Salmons to Milwaukee intensifies. Isn’t he a defensively challenged version of Carlos Delfino? Whatever helps, I guess.
8:59: Houston continues to extend the lead and force unforced turnovers. Clearly the environment at the Bradley Center is throbbing with the intensity of the Salmons deal, but this isn’t AAU, Milwaukee. This is the Super Bowl!
8:05: The unspoken part of the Salmons deal was the inclusion of Francisco Elson. The days of the multilingual center talking in Dutch to Dan Gadzuric across the Bucks’ locker room so the media can’t listen in are over.
6:38: The Rockets are making almost every three they’re shooting, while the Bucks are missing almost every three they’re taking. If A sq. + B sq. = C sq., then Milwaukee is down 19 points and counting.
5:25: I get a chill from Ersan’s second nothing-but-air shot of the night. At least this one was in the corner. The Rockets are now shooting 13-17 from three, thanks to a few 6’6″ hybrid guards/forwards. Thank god we have a trading deadline to discuss.
2:56: Has any team every shot better from three than from the line during a game where they take at least 20 shots of each? The Rockets are currently 76% from beyond the arc and 70% on free throws. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say this was not the way the Bucks wanted to start the post-ASB season.
1:50: Dan Gadz just shot the ball like it was his first time since grade school. Give him some credit though: the ball kind of touched the rim.
:55: Shane Battier is like a mosquito; annoying and itchy as hell for the first three quarters, until you realize it’s given you malaria and is one of the main reasons you’re blowing chunks.
Fourth quarter
15:00: The Bucks are down 100-66. The 42% shooting of John Salmons couldn’t come soon enough. I wonder if he’s watching this game in a New York hotel room right now. It has to be encouraging knowing he’s expected to shoot early and often in Milwaukee.
11:19: My exact words regarding Aaron Brooks hesitating on a three attempt: “Just take it, you’re not gonna miss it.”
11:21: Swoosh.
9:30: Houston is now 16-21 from three point land and 17-25 from the line.
9:13: Kurt Thomas enters the game for the last time as a Buck. *Sniffle*
6:55: It’s really not worth talking much about the game anymore, because time, talent and logic are working hard against Milwaukee right now. Bucks down 116-79. It’s much more funny to listen to the drunk college kids cat-calling the floor mopping middle schooler.
4:15: In honor of Ash Wednesday, I’m praying for the hands of time to speed up to the end of this embarassment of a game. I also added a clause in the prayer that guarantees Salmons wasn’t watching and will shoot better than 42% as a Buck. I’m not holding my breath for either.
1:20 My computer is officially turned off and my recorder is ready for Scott Skiles’ post-game mantra of “um’s” and generic statements about persevering while deflecting talk about the inevitable Salmons trade. I’ll bet Thomas sheds a tear or two for all the good memories. (Post-game update: He doesn’t but he said he’s used to trade rumors and has enjoyed playing in Milwaukee. Definitely a classy guy until the end.)
:00 I’m choosing to completely ignore the terrible omen of a 40 point loss the night that Milwaukee trades two big men in the division for a streaky shooter. Overall, the trade is probably better for the Bucks this season than keeping Thomas or Elson. Unfortunately, that means Danny Gadz gets more playing time. But it could be worse; they could’ve traded for Darko.
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