Chicago Bears Ramp up their Media loathing, Paranoia

bears media

It’s not secret that the Chicago Bears have traditionally maintained an adversarial relationship with the media. In recent years, it’s become even WORSE. During our second annual bracket of douchitude, the champion of my region, the #3 seeded Chicago Bears Media Relations Dept, won the whole thing. The readers have spoken, and the votes came in against them overwhelmingly. Their Final Four match-up against Tea Party members was actually a shut out in their favor.

So this is more evidence that it’s not just the media who abhor the Bears’ Soviet Unionlike obsession with message control. The fans are disgusted by it as well. We all know how useless Bears press conferences are, but now they’re trying to take steps towards making all media coverage of them obsolete. They recently implemented new, ridonkulously restrictive guidelines on the press These guidelines, of course, do not apply to the PR flaks, the Bears  call “reporters.” You know, those douches who sit in on press conferences and ask the players softball questions.

By Paul M. Banks

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VOTE NOW! Douchebracket TITLE Bears Media Relations vs. David Kahn


Here we go for all the marbles!!! The winner of our bracket of douchitude will be either…

…The Chicago Bears Media Relations Department (Banks Regional Champion)


…Minnesota Timberwolves GM David Kahn (Peter Christian Regional Champion)

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Douchebracket Finalist: Chicago Bears Media Relations

bears media

There’s a reason every Chicago Bears press conference is the most boring and utterly useless experience in the world of sports. There’s a reason Lovie Smith is most worthless and yawn-inducing soundbite in the history of the city. (And Matt Forte isn’t far behind). There’s a reason Lovie is perfectly fine with presenting himself as a soulless corporate mouthpiece, who never says anything of substance. Ever.

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