Blackhawks triumph helps Chicago recover from Great Fire of 1871 (SATIRE)

chicago fire

With every postseason win, the Chicago Blackhawks take another step towards drinking the blessed waters residing within Lord Stanley’s Cup. The possibility of tasting these pure waters lifts the spirits of Windy City Citizens still yearning for a ray of light to guide them through the dark devastation brought on by the Great Chicago Fire in October of 1871.

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Blackhawks Stanley Cup helps Chicago recover from Fire of 1871 (parody)

chicago fire

(note: this opening paragraph is obviously parody)

With a win tonight the Chicago Blackhawks will take another step towards drinking the blessed waters residing within Lord Stanley’s Cup. With just five more wins, the tasting of these pure waters will lift the spirits of Windy City citizens still yearning for a ray of light to get them through the dark devastation brought on by the Great Chicago Fire in October of 1871.

Every Brian Bickell goal is yet another opportunity to make Chicago residents forget about that fateful lantern, kicked over by Mrs. O’Leary’s cow that led to doom and destruction. Every point scored by Blackhawks leader Jonathan “Captain Serious” Toews is another chance to alleviate the serious and somber mood possessed by many who lost everything in the second city’s historical inferno.

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Blackhawks and Canucks Heading Back to Chicago, UNRULY Fans

With a resounding 5-0 win in game five, the Chicago Blackhawks took a game from the Vancouver Canucks in their building and got right back in goaltender Roberto Luongo‘s head. They’ve out-scored the Canucks 12-2 in the last two games, and 17-11 in the series (yet they still face elimination being down 3-2).

Maybe the Chicago fans and their taunts are getting to them? Much was made of Hollywood A-Lister Vince Vaughn taunting Roberto Luongo (see picture above, click for larger view), but apparently there are some meatball Hawks fans out there who are crossing the line of good taste and harassing the Canucks front office.

(Why am I not surprised?)

By Paul M. Banks

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Blackhawks Look 2010 Style, for 1 Night at Least

patrick sharp luongo

Like the group of very late 20 century American poets, 98 Degrees once said, “Give me just one night, una noche,
I’ll give you the time of your life.”
And for the Chicago Blackhawks, that one night stand was as exciting and as invigorating as possible.

Facing their first elimination game since ’09, they looked like the NHL Stanley Cup Champions of last year, dominating the Vancouver Canucks, and going on a scoring spree that would make Wilt Chamberlain proud. They rode a four goal second period to a 7-2 win, and stayed alive; for one more night at least.

As the scoring barrage ensued, I’m sure many of the Hawks fans (maybe even Vince Vaughn who was in attendance with his daughter again) said to themselves, “hey, save some of that for Thursday in Vancouver.”

By Paul M. Banks

This post is brought to you by American Digital.

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Stanley Cup would make Blackhawks Dramatic Franchise Transformation Complete

blackhawks

As recently as 2006-07, if you attended a Chicago Blackhawks game, you’d see the 300 level was about as populated as a nuclear testing site. For the NHL Stanley Cup Finals, people will pay north of $400 to STAND in these sections. With three more wins, Chicago can drink from the Stanley cup of life in 2010, and give this original 6 franchise a metamorphosis that would make Franz Kafka proud.

Quoting Talking Heads: “and you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?”

By Paul M. Banks

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Blackhawks Big 2 (Kane, Toews) Control Game 2

kane-toews

It was the Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane show during the Chicago Blackhawks 4-2 game 2 victory at San Jose. The Hawks’ two most iconic players zipped around the ice in Silicon Valley like an Intel core i7 processor. And pretty soon, they could make the San Jose Sharks as outdated and useless as a 286 CPU. (Apologies for the tech nerd metaphors, hey, when in San Jose). Two is indeed a magic number, as Chicago has two down, and two to go to reach their first Stanley Cup Final since ’92. The big two, and their coach, the Q Stache had a lot to say about last nights game 2 victory

–Paul M. Banks

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Blackhawks playoff game sets TV ratings record- Mania ensuing

blackhawks

By Paul M. Banks

Without a doubt, Chicago, the greatest sports town in the world, is now a big time hockey town; a Blackhawks town.  When attending the White Sox game last night, a huge number of fans wore their Hawks sweater, just like I did. At the Cell, the public address system set off the goal scoring horn every time the Hawks scored during their game 3 5-2 win at Vancouver. Walking between the El, the northside watering holes and my home, I could hear a few people joyously screaming in their own homes when the Hawks scored their final goal, even though the outcome had already been determined by the fourth one late in the 3rd period.

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Blackhawks advance to face Canucks- AGAIN!

blackhawks playoffs

The Chicago Blackhawks have advanced to the Western Conference Semifinals with a 5-3 win over the Nashville Predators on Monday night at Bridgestone Arena.  The win secured a 4-games-to-2 win in their first-round series and a meeting with the Vancouver Canucks in the Conference Semifinals for the second consecutive season.  Chicago will host Games 1 and 2 of the series, with dates and times to be determined.

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Marian Hossa won’t be suspended

marian hossa

You all saw what the Chicago Blackhawks‘ Marian Hossa did in game 5 of the NHL Stanley Cup playoffs. And I’m not talking about his over-time game winning goal.

National Hockey League Executive Vice President and Director of Hockey Operations Colin Campbell issued the following statement after conducting a hearing with Chicago Blackhawks forward Marian Hossa earlier today into the major penalty for boarding assessed to Hossa in yesterday’s Game 5 of the Conference Quarterfinal series against the Nashville Predators:

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NHL Playoff Pairings Set: Blackhawks vs. Predators in Rd 1

blackhawks playoffs

By Paul M. Banks

Hockey fans, we got everything you need listed here: the matchups, seedings, venues, dates, start times for ALL STANLEY CUP PLAYOFFS Games.

We also have a mini-preview of the Blackhawks series vs. Nashville

The Chicago Blackhawks will launch the 2010 Stanley Cup Playoffs when they face the Nashville Predators in the best-of-seven Western Conference Quarterfinals (Series F) beginning at the United Center on Friday, April 16 at 7:30 P.M. and Sunday, April 18 at 7:30 P.M.

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