Purdue vs Illinois: PILLOW FIGHT Preview

Share

bart-simpson-notre-dame-purdue

Here’s where the very resistible force meets the quite easily moved object.

Purdue has an offense that would be horrendous by mid-major standards. However, now they face a defense that can’t stop a nose bleed (CC Bart Scott).

We will not be held liable for any mental and physical harm you incur from watching this. The fact that it’s even televised in the first place is frightening enough.

It’s Purdue versus Illinois. Because….someone has to win.

TV: ESPN2 11AM CST

 Announcers: Beth Mowins, Joey Galloway and Paul Carcaterra. Poor Mowins. Not only is she great at her job, but she’s very underrated. And she always gets stuck covering junior varsity games such as these.

Tickets: as low as $13 on some ticket brokers

Spread: Illini -11.5  <— LOLOLOLOL ROTFLMAO!!!!! I guess the Nevada Gaming Commission is pretty confident Wes Lunt is starting for Illinois, and not Reilly O’Toole.

purdue-football-boilermakers

Purdue Boilermakers Preview:  Purdue ran 37 plays for 72 yards after getting a 10-0 lead over Iowa. Their lone touchdown came on defense, and they lost at home to the Hawkeyes 24-10. In the postgame press conference, Danny Etling was asked how he played. His response “very poorly.” Hence the photo below referencing the final scene from “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.”

Etling went 11-26 for just 61 yards, no TDs, 1 INT for a QB rating of 54.2. By the way, he also averaged less 2.5 yards per pass attempt.

That is not a typo.

Let’s give Etling credit though for being frank in the postgame press conference. It reminds me of the final sentence in F. Scott Fitzgerald’s debut novel This Side of Paradise. The main character Amory Blaine says “I know myself– and that is all.”

Whether it’s Etling or Appleby who gets the start in this one, let’s give Danny some credit for being self-aware and not sugarcoating the situation instead. In today’s “everyone gets a trophy generation,” most college kids would utter some rubbish like “we encountered adversity” to the media on a day like that.

purdue-football

Tim Beckman is 1-20 at Illinois versus teams in the power five conferences. That is not a typo. If he is not sacked by November 30th, Illinois deserves relegation to the MAC.  The 1? Yes, Purdue!

Last year 21-16 in West Lafayette. Still, Purdue has owned the series lately, winning seven of the last nine.

wes-lunt

Illini Fighting Illini Preview:

Wes Lunt is officially the starter, but his health situation could change between now and Saturday. in terms of an air attack, going from Lunt to Reilly O’Toole is like going from a brand new $3 billion A2 stealth bomber to a 45 year old used $30,000 Cessna prop plane. If O’Toole plays then maybe his parody Twitter account will live on for a few more hours this week. Yes, Nebraska fans close to @FauxPelini picked up comedic gold which was ironically right in my lap the whole time, and I totally missed it.

It didn’t dawn on me until last Saturday night that he truly does have the perfect name for a cheesy corporate chain restaurant/soulless mediocre sports bar. Look out Bennigan’s and Pat O’Brien’s, here comes Reilly O’Toole’s.

josh-ferguson illinois football

A run down on the Illini, click on the linked/boldface for more.

-Wes Lunt has NFL potential, but he has a ways to go. 

As I pointed out during my weekly radio spot on 1620 the Zone yesterday, Lunt has done it without much of a running game at all. Up until the second half of last Saturday’s come from behind win over Texas State, the Illini really haven’t run the ball at all. So that’s both a testament to his abilities and a reason for why his numbers are somewhat inflated. In 2014, Illinois has constantly been behind in the second half, yes even versus lowly FCS and mid-major opponents, so Lunt has to keep throwing all the time.

-Josh Ferguson is the truth. 

-Tim Beckman is not so good at the “talky-talk”

I listed ten of his worst (i.e. unintentionally hilarious) verbal gaffes since taking over the program in 2012.

-Interest in Illini football has now sunk to the lowest level that it’s been in a generation. The current level of apathy for the team is the worst I’ve seen as long as I’ve been alive. The fact that I can even think of analogizing it to DePaul basketball is alarming. A Beckman contract extension would bring more losing and more apathy. A couple more years of it, and yes you would be at Oliver Purnell at DPU level irrelevance.

illini football

I’m almost worried that I need to stop tweeting about them because every time I do tweet about illini football I lose followers.

Prediction: Purdue 23, Illini 21

I’m sorry but this Illinois team is worse than last season and only marginally improved from the dumpster fire of 2012. If they were playing Michigan this week I would pick them to win, but that’s the only Big Ten team that I feel Illinois could beat right now. The Wolverines have quit on Brady Hoke because they know that the Chris Christie lookalike, and his Athletic Director, are dead men walking. This is Tim Beckman we are talking about. In grand scheme of coaching things, he makes Vinny Del Negro look like Bear Bryant, Vince Lombardi and Sir Alex Ferguson combined.

tim-beckman-illini-football

Let’s see if my prediction is crazy accurate AGAIN! I said NU 49, Illini 17.  Final was 45-14. The week before I said Illini 45, Texas St 34. Final was 42-35 

Paul M. Banks owns, operates and very often writes The Sports Bank.net ,which is partners with Fox Sports. Read his features stories in the Chicago Tribune RedEye edition. Listen to him on 1620 The Zone. Follow him on Twitter (@paulmbanks). His work has been featured in hundreds of media outlets including The Washington Post and ESPN 2

Powered by

Speak Your Mind