I’m in a great mood today. Even though young whipper-snapper Banks called me the crabbiest man in baseball, I’m still in a great mood. The Cubs have the best record in MLB, coming back from a 9-0 deficit to win 10-9 (Hooooly Cow!). Even the south-siders are in first place in their division (does anyone other than Soxman actually care though?). It’s 80 degrees and street fests are starting this weekend.
But so what!
Chicago has something else that’s even way better than any of those distractions. We’ve got the best name in baseball. Not the Cubs, not Wrigley Field, not Sweet Lou….
!!!Fukudome!!!
You won’t hear me say this often, but Cubs’ management was brilliant. They pull this guy from a rural Japanese club, not knowing if he’d make it in the Majors and look what happened. He’s batting .310 (2nd for Cubs starters), 3rd in Hits, leading in Triples and Walks, tied for 2nd in Stolen bases.Â
All that’s great, but so what! It doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter because Kosuke could strike out every time and Cubs fans would still love him. He could drop trou and moon the crowd at home plate and he would still be cheered.  He could pull a Lee Elia rant, and no one would even notice (or understand). He could get caught on tape with a 16 year old girl and the crowd would still love him (sorry, wrong Chicagoan!).Â
Why?
Because he’s got the best name in baseball. He’s got the name everyone loves to say. From 10 year old boys, who giggle when they say it, to 24 year old nymphs who get all tingly when uttering it, my man Kosuke has the best name in baseball. Just say the name: Fukudome. It kind of rolls off the tongue. It feels good to say it. Ahhhh….Fukudome.  And, let’s face it….even if you’re a mature, old fart 100 year old man like me, it’s just damn funny.
And not even in a Fuk-u-do-me kind of way. More in a Beavis and Butthead kind of way (huh-huh…he said fuk…huh-huh. Heh-heh Yeah, fuk! Heh-Heh). Think of all the fun you can have with Kosume’s name. Sure, there’s the obvious “Fuk-u-do-me†shirts. Boring. And the Fukudome jersey with his name in Japanese, featuring a kamikaze headband…yawn.Â
Or the racist “Horry Kow†shirts – disgusting. (Editor’s note: THESE ARE REPULSIVE AND UNFUNNY! The man they are intended for, #1 himself, said he is very offended by them, so if you are one of those douchebags sporting that piece of trash in Wrigleyville, what kind of fan are you? You’re blatantly disrespecting the player you claim to be supporting! Did I mention these aren’t funny? If you want to see less offensive, but still unfunny racist humor, watch “Mind of Mencia†on Comedy Central (if you truly hate yourself) if you want to see hilariously funny racist humor, watch reruns of the Chappelle Show.
How about…
Got Fukud?
Or if you really want to make a statement…
Get Fukud!
Try these on for size at https://Since1908clothing.comÂ
Since it’s a beautiful May day, the Cubbies are playing the best of anyone in baseball, and because I’ve said Fukudome about 20 times today, ‘ol Seymour’s in a good mood. About the only way I could be in a better mood would be if the Sox were in the cellar, and fans torched the used footwear that Soxman wears on his bat ears. Or maybe if my arrogant boss, young kid Banks would just shut the hell up for once!
Your ‘ol pal Seymour’s in such a good mood, I feel like giving to TheSportsBank.net’s fans.  So let’s hold a Fukudome contest!
What’s your favorite Fukudome phrase or joke? Post by June 8th on TheSportsBank.net or email them to me at seymourpennants@gmail.com. Best Fukudome phrase or joke wins a free Got Fukud? or Get Fukud! t-shirt of your choice. https://www.since1908clothing.com/Buy_Since_1908_Tshirts.html
We’ll post the winning and runner-up entries on TheSportsbank.net when the contest is over.
I’m Seymour Pennants and I’m in a damn good mood. Want to put me in a better mood? Help me stretch my Social Security dollar by visiting https://Since1908clothing.com and check out the cool t-shirts commemorating 100 years since the Cubs won it all. Better yet, get your own….Get Fukud!
Seymour Pennants
https://Since1908clothing.com