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Chicago Bears vs Dallas Cowboys: brutally honest preview

December 9, 2013 By paulmbanks

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How are the Dallas Cowboys underdogs in this one? Are you serious?

It’s weird how the Chicago Bears, Chicago Bulls, Illini and Northwestern all saw their seasons, from a practical sense, end within a week or two of each other. Illinois and NU wrapped up their dreadful seasons this past Saturday, and the Minnesota Vikings OT upset made the rest of this year a moot point for the Bears. So all of Chicago’s NFL and college football teams are pretty much down now. And with Derrick Rose going down, my hometown’s NBA team is done too.

Tis the season right? It’s the most. Wonderful time. Of the year!

Bring on the Dallas Cowboys, are you ready for some football?

 

The Chicago Bears host Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys – who are tied for first in the NFC East – on ESPN’s Monday Night Football on December 9 at 7:25 p.m. CST. The booth team of Mike Tirico and Jon Gruden will call the game from Chicago’s Soldier Field with sideline reporter Lisa Salters.

Both Chicago and Dallas enter the matchup with MNF winning streaks — the Bears have a four-game MNF win streak at home and the Cowboys have a five-game MNF win streak on the road. Additionally, the Cowboys are second all-time in MNF appearances (74) and MNF wins (43) heading into Monday’s game.

mike-ditka

The Bears will honor ESPN NFL analyst Mike Ditka – who appears in EVERY SINGLE COMMERCIAL on the airwaves, radio or television. The FCC has passed a new regulation, it is now against Federal Law to air an ad for any product during any sports related programming that does not feature Ditka – by retiring his No. 89 at halftime.

Chicago Bears preview:

let’s stop saying that the run defense is very bad. That doesn’t do it justice. Dead last in the NFL, let’s just say that the Chicago Bears run defense is very bad at life. In QB news, Jay Cutler will not go, but he is practicing again, and Trestman vows that he will play again this year. Any time the defense wants to get anybody back is fine with me, as they’ve been devastated this season. Especially at the DL. Lance Briggs is working out, but not practicing, obviously he’s been ruled out. That’s 7 weeks and counting he’s been gone. Remember when he was supposed to return in 4-6?

mike-ditka

Obviously the story this week has been Marc Trestman, and his inexplicable decisions and unforgivable mistakes. Trestmania is over now. The luster is off him. The honeymoon is over.

Trestman defended his decision by noting that the Bears were within Gould’s range, that he was concerned about losing yardage on a penalty or an offensive play, and that there was no guarantee that the Bears would have gained yardage on subsequent downs.

Dallas Cowboys preview:

As you read this preview you can enjoy the pictures I took on the field at Cowboys Stadium when Nike selected me for the 2010 Nike Football Summit. All expenses paid! They even put us up in the Ritz-Carlton! Ok, ignore my pictures, they suck. But you’ll seriously want to see my pics from inside the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders locker room, from that junket.

dallas cowboys stadium

dallas-cowboys

 

Ok now, I see why the Dallas Cowboys are not favored in this game. Their overall team stats are kinda bad. They’re 31st in opposing passing yards, 27th in opposing rushing yards. So whoever leads the offense, Cutler or McCown, should carve them up. Also, they’re 27 in rushing yards, so they lack the weapons to exploit the Bears soft run defense.

Then you have Tony Romo, who often “Northwesterns” the game away. Romo has engaged in plenty of Northwesterning in his time. Although, this year you can’t make as many jokes about Romo, as the passing offense is one of the biggest strengths of this team. You can’t make the jokes, but someone who does is Not Tony Romo on Twitter. Enjoy:

Cowboys starting Center Travis Frederick reminds me of this true story you gotta here. Ask TSB Wisconsin Badgers writer Nick Grays about this, he was there. Covering a game at Wisconsin I was the like the first reporter to leave the postgame media session, and Nick was laughing at me. I said “never underestimate my ability to skip the Q&A sessions as early as possible.” Then Badgers OL Travis Frederick overheard this, smiled, so I gave him a fist bump. And he said something to me about hating this stuff as much I do. It was CLASSIC!

Of course, Frederick doesn’t like this stuff. He’s very intelligent. He majored in computer engineering at Madison, and used to take apart computers and put them back together for fun. Dude is super brilliant, and anyone who’s smart sees how useless 90% of pressers are.

 

Brutally Honest pick (brutally honest record 74-28): Dallas Cowboys 38, Chicago Bears 31

 

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