Minor League Pitcher Signs $3.4 Billion, 10 Million Year Contract

windy-city-thunderbolts

No, this is not a headline from The Onion; or Sports Pickle. It’s not a typo.

Yes, you’ve read those numbers correctly. The Windy City Thunderbolts, an unaffiliated minor league club located in Crestwood, Illinois, a southwest suburb of Chicago, have signed pitcher Clay Chapman to a $3.4 billion deal to be paid out over 10 million years.

That contract works out to $340 dollars a year, thus further validating what you already knew- this contract is nothing more than an egregious publicity stunt.

[Read more…]

Former Chicago Bulls GM Jerry Krause Passes Away at Age 77

jerry krause

Jerry Krause, architect of the Chicago Bulls 1990s super-dynasty passed away Tuesday. The former Chicago Bulls General Manager and White Sox scout, who died from persistent health issues, including osteomyelitis, was 77. He retired last spring from his scouting job with the Arizona Diamondbacks.

Here’s a Tweet from the Chicago Tribune’s Bulls beat reporter K.C. Johnson. Below that is a Tweet from the Tribune’s Mark Gonzalez, who covered Jerry Krause during his days with the Sox.

[Read more…]

Brian Urlacher Talks Bears, Hair Restoral, Cubs, Illini and More (Semi-Exclusive)

brian urlacher

“Anything that Brian is doing, of course should be entertaining,” said former Chicago Bears and current Illinois Fighting Illini Head Coach Lovie Smith this past week.

“I’m sure they’ll all have a great time with it,” Smith responded when we informed him exactly what Brian Urlacher would be up to this Sunday.

Smith was spot on, and perhaps even understating it a bit. Urlacher was one of the many celebrities appearing at the 17th Annual Chicago Polar Plunge Sunday morning at North Avenue beach, benefiting Special Olympics Chicago. Urlacher met with fans, took lots of pictures and served up bratwursts for Johnsonville, on a 65-foot semi-truck grill which can reportedly cook 2,500 brats an hour.

[Read more…]

Northwestern Basketball Will Be Analogized to Both Duke and the Cubs a lot this Month

duke-basketball-jon-scheyer-coach-krzyzewski-1000

As we enter the B1G Tournament, Northwestern basketball will be looking to solidify their position in the NCAA Tournament, and improve their seeding by winning as many games as they can in Washington D.C.

Off-the-court, the local and national media will be producing lots of content surrounding what Jim Nantz deemed “the story of the year in college basketball.”

That story of course is Northwestern basketball making their first NCAA Tournament in the entire history of their program; ending a 78 year drought.

[Read more…]

New York Yankees Announce Three Roster Moves

yankees

The New York Yankees have made a series of minor moves these past few days, in advance of the preseason opener on Friday. The Yanks will take on the Philadelphia Phillies, February 24th at George Steinbreener Field at 1 pm eastern.  Today, the Yanks send left handed pitcher Richard Bleier to the Baltimore Orioles in exchange for a player to be named later or cash considerations.

[Read more…]

Liverpool FC Ownership was Offered to Bill Gates, Patriots Owner Bob Kraft

bill gates

One of the most interesting Liverpool news stories circulating in the Twitterverse, blogosphere, cyberspace and media world today involves two big names that you would never expect- Bill Gates and Bob Kraft. Gates, the Microsoft founder and current richest man alive was offered a chance to purchase the team but did not respond.

Bill Gates, with a current estimated net worth of $84.2 billion, has been deemed the wealthiest man alive since 2014, and he also held the title from 1995-2007 and 2009.

[Read more…]

Clark Squeeze Ball Popper on Chicago Cubs Website Sells Out

2014-cubs-convention-clark

“This is indeed a disturbing universe,” said baby Maggie Simpson, voiced by James Earl Jones, on a Halloween episode of The Simpsons. While that phrase perfectly summates current events and headline news these past three weeks, we’re actually referring to something much more harmless.

Big fan of Clark the Chicago Cubs mascot? Ever wanted him to shoot balls out of his mouth at you? Well you’re in luck (or at least you will be once the Cubs store re-stocks their supply of this highly sought-after item.

[Read more…]

Kitten Bowl Host Beth Stern Reveals How Rescue Kitties Got Their Names

kitten bowl

Inspired by the popularity of Animal Planet’s Puppy Bowl,” Hallmark Channel created the Kitten Bowl franchise, which will broadcast its fourth edition on Super Bowl Sunday, February 5th. Kitten Bowl IV premieres at noon EST. The game will once again be called by New York Yankees radio broadcaster John Sterling, and hosted by Beth Stern, model and wife of Howard Stern.

NBC Sports’ Mary Carillo will add color commentary. Dozens of adoptable kittens from North Shore Animal League America will take the field and paw at the pigskin.

[Read more…]

Stick to Sports? Not Anymore, not with the SERIOUS Concerns We Have

colin-kaepernick

(Editor’s note: re-posting from November 18th, 2016)

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to acknowledge the passing of the phrase “stick to sports.”

It has now passed on into the great abyss.

Of course, to be honest with ourselves, we must first acknowledge

a.) that “stick to sports” only existed as a phrase conveniently leaving off the second, more important, self-defining portion of the expressed sentiment.

b.) that it was impossible for stick to sports to ever really exist in the first place.

[Read more…]

Tim Raines is the Second Greatest Leadoff Hitter of All Time

tim raines

Who’s the greatest lead-off hitter of all time?

Well, almost certainly Ricky Henderson, but Tim Raines, enshrined this weekend in the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame, is right up there with him, likely number two. Others in this group, at least from the past 50 years, include Kenny Lofton, Craig Biggio, Maury Wills, Ichiro Suzuki, Vince Coleman, Lou Brock, Chuck Knoblauch, Pete Rose, Bobby Bonds, well we could go on and on.

[Read more…]

Yankees, Former Cubs P Adam Warren has Great “when I got traded” Story

adam warren

The New York Yankees recently announced that they have agreed to terms with SS Didi Gregorius, OF Aaron Hicks, LHP Tommy Layne, RHP Michael Pineda, C Austin Romine and RHP Adam Warren on one-year, non-guaranteed contracts, thus avoiding arbitration.

Given today’s world of extremely excessive communication technology and ridiculous over-communication, it’s nearly impossible to actually go off the grid. Like the B-52’s “roam if you want to, roam around the world,” and you’ll find more and more roaming available.

[Read more…]

Jake Arrieta Explains His Controversial Presidential Election Tweet

jake-arrieta

Chicago Cubs pitcher Jake Arrieta made a very controversial Tweet on November 9th, the day after the U.S. Presidential election. It was very short and (not so) sweet, as all 140 or character less offerings are, and the political statement made in the micro-blog posting was highly scrutinized and excessively analyzed.

Yesterday, the Cubs were the guests of President and now Chicagoan, Barack Obama at the White House for what will be the final public event hosted by the 44th President of these United States while in office.

[Read more…]