An Ode To The NHL Lockout: Garys Room


 

With the ridiculousness of the past couple days, not to mention last couple months, by the NHL, the owners, and their “glorious” leader, Gary Bettman, some may wonder what is going on inside the commisioner’s head.  The league’s owners clearly want more money, while the NHLPA is trying to keep as much as possible.  The fans are caught in the middle, almost guaranteed to lose no matter what happens.  For those of us trying to survive, I present to you “Garys Room” a hip check/R&B song about the commissioner’s wants.  Continue after the jump to hear the song.

 

 

Here is the single “Garys Room” based off of the Drake song “Marvins Room.”  Enjoy.

Geographvick – Garys Room

 

 

Shots of the whiskey.

Lawyers on my Iphone,

I should call and get a deal done.

I’ve been at this job too long.

The owners and I will try,

For a bigger piece of the pie.

But I’ve been drinking so much,

That I’ma call Don anyway and say:

 

“F***  the players that you love so bad.

I know you still think about the CBA we had.”

I say, “F*** the players,

From each and every town.

Since you won’t give up more,

I’ll shut the season down.”

 

I’m just saying you can do better.

Tell me have heard you that lately?

I’m just saying you can do better.

And I’ll start cancelling,

Only if you make me.

 

Uh, cans of the OV.

All my lawyers been here.

I see all the player reps here.

Guess they don’t have the time,

To negotiate no more.

Flights in the morning.

Where they playing that’s so important?

The players are in Europe

So that I’ma call Don anyway and say:

 

“F*** the players that you love so bad.

I know you still think about the CBA we had.”

I say, “F*** the players,

From each and every town.

Since you won’t give up more,

I’ll shut the season down.”

 

I’m just saying, you could do better.

Tell me have you heard that lately?

I’m just saying you could do better.

And I’ll start cancelling,

Only if you make me.

 

 

 

I think I’m addicted to making money.

And sitting talking bout revenues,

That we never had.

I don’t think I’m conscious,

Of making decisions,

On the players offer til it all goes bad.

But s***, it’s all good.

We threw a lockout, yeah we threw a lockout.

Owners came over, yeah we threw a lockout.

I was just calling cuz sponsors were pleading,

“Play the Winter Classic,

Or at least half the season.”

I need you right, are you down to listen to me?

Too small a percent has been given to me.

I’ve got owners who are banking off me.

Seen other leagues get more I’m ashamed.

The owners, you know them,

I won’t say no names.

After awhile, the offers will change.

Must have our portion increased, I’ll explain.

HRR definitions must change.

Frank Luntz in the mixture,

I’ll be talking crazy Don.

I’m lucky that you picked up.

Lucky that that deal’s done.

I need someone to put this blame on.

 

I’m just saying you can do better.

Tell me have you heard that lately?

I’m just saying you can do better.

And I’ll start cancelling,

Only if you make me.

 

Just count the cash,

The fans will always come back.

The league hopes the players break easy.

I hope no one heard that.

I hope no one heard that

Cuz if they did, we gon’ be in some trouble.

Cuz if they did, we gon’ be in some trouble.

 

This is the edited version of the single.  Soon there will be both an unedited version of the single, as well as a very expensive music video.  Also, with the events of recent negotiations, a song for Donald Fehr may also be required.  Any suggestions, feel free to contact me.

Let’s play some damn hockey!!

 

bryan vickroy the sports bank

Bryan Vickroy has an addiction to hockey, and is willing to partake in all its forms.  He is skating extra shifts for The Sports Bank, covering the Minnesota Wild, the NHL, and NCAA hockey all year long.  Look for new articles throughout the week.  He can be followed on Twitter at @bryanvickroy.  If you’d prefer to speak in more than 140 characters at a time to him, he can be reached at bryan.vickroy@gmail.com.

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