Blackhawks triumph helps Chicago recover from Great Fire of 1871 (SATIRE)

chicago fire

With every postseason win, the Chicago Blackhawks take another step towards drinking the blessed waters residing within Lord Stanley’s Cup. The possibility of tasting these pure waters lifts the spirits of Windy City Citizens still yearning for a ray of light to guide them through the dark devastation brought on by the Great Chicago Fire in October of 1871.

[Read more…]

Blackhawks Stanley Cup helps Chicago recover from Fire of 1871 (parody)

chicago fire

(note: this opening paragraph is obviously parody)

With a win tonight the Chicago Blackhawks will take another step towards drinking the blessed waters residing within Lord Stanley’s Cup. With just five more wins, the tasting of these pure waters will lift the spirits of Windy City citizens still yearning for a ray of light to get them through the dark devastation brought on by the Great Chicago Fire in October of 1871.

Every Brian Bickell goal is yet another opportunity to make Chicago residents forget about that fateful lantern, kicked over by Mrs. O’Leary’s cow that led to doom and destruction. Every point scored by Blackhawks leader Jonathan “Captain Serious” Toews is another chance to alleviate the serious and somber mood possessed by many who lost everything in the second city’s historical inferno.

[Read more…]

Blackhawks Fan Tells On-Air Reporter Sarah Kustok: “I Love you, You’re so Beautiful”

sarah-kustok

“Greg from Lemont” is an ex-baseball player, who’s becoming the next sports blog video star.

The Chicago Blackhawks fan was given a chance to play “Shoot The Puck,” a period intermission goal shooting contest during home Hawks games at the United Center. The formula is simple: a kid, really sexy woman, and adult guy (sometimes celebrity). Rinse and repeat. The woman always gets cheered, the kid and the celebrity can get cheered or booed, if there’s a regular adult guy- always booed. But this isn’t about the shooting competition; it’s about Comcast SportsNet Chicago reporter Sarah Kustok, and what she was told by Greg.

I do enjoy publishing stories on people from my hometown becoming stars.

[Read more…]

Meet Sarah Kustok- CSN’s Beloved Blackhawks Reporter

sarah-kustok

You may have seen the video of a hockey fan telling the sideline reporter “how pretty she is” and how he loves her“…that’s Sarah Kustok

Paul M. Banks has an exclusive discussion with Comcast Sports Net’s Sarah Kustok.

You’ve undoubtedly seen the DePaul graduate on TV covering the Chicago Blackhawks, Chicago White Sox, Chicago Cubs, and Chicago Bulls. She’s had the opportunity to cover a lot of high profile playoff games in multiple sports, and after the jump she’ll tell us all about her amazing experiences, as well as her own backstory.

[Read more…]

Q Stache breaks down Blackhawks Game 1 Victory

quenneville

By Paul M. Banks

The Chicago Blackhawks‘ 2-1 victory over the San Jose Sharks in game one of the Western Conference Finals was huge. Actually it was HUGE!!!! The second city needs to savor this Hawks playoff run as long as possible, because it appears that both the White Sox and Cubs are going absolutely nowhere this season. On the same weekend the Hawks took a 1-0 in their NHL final four series, the Sox and Cubs lost a series to the Kansas City Royals and Pittsburgh Pirates respectively. Those franchises are MLB’s defacto AAA teams. So that’s a bit demoralizing.

But enough negativity- let’s talk about how good the Hawks looked in Silicon Valley on Sunday. And Hawks Coach Joel Quenneville, a.k.a. the Q Stache, is here to articulate the how and why

[Read more…]

Familiarity breeds contempt in Hawks-Sharks Series

sharks game intro

By Paul M. Banks

In two days, the Chicago Blackhawks will start their battle with the San Jose Sharks for Western Conference supremacy. And when the gauntlet is thrown down, there will be lots of commonalities and bonds between the two warring factions. Here are a few ties that bind:


[Read more…]

NHL Western Conference Finals: by the numbers

toews sharks

By Paul M. Banks

In two days, the Chicago Blackhawks will start their battle with the San Jose Sharks for Western Conference supremacy. And when the gauntlet is thrown down, there will be lots of trends and numbers to monitor. Here’s a look at how these guys got here, and what streaks to keep your eye on during the series:

[Read more…]

Blackhawks vs. Sharks: grab your bag- it’s on!

blackhawks playoffssharks

By Paul M. Banks

One year to the exact date, the Chicago Blackhawks have eliminated the Vancouver Canucks from the NHL Stanley Cup playoffs. Again, it’s in the Western Conference semis, once again it’s 4 games to 2. They beat VAN at GM place by a 5-1 margin, matching their record on the road this postseason.

In both series so far, the Hawks were more about getting the shorties than T-Pain and Nelly combined. The Hawks led the NHL in short-handed goals or “shorties,” (not to be confused with the hip-hop slang term for women…or maybe it is to be confused with that terminology, it’s ok) during the regular season. And during the first two rounds of the postseason, Chicago’s short-handed goals have come in crucial situations.

[Read more…]

Blackhawks playoff game sets TV ratings record- Mania ensuing

blackhawks

By Paul M. Banks

Without a doubt, Chicago, the greatest sports town in the world, is now a big time hockey town; a Blackhawks town.  When attending the White Sox game last night, a huge number of fans wore their Hawks sweater, just like I did. At the Cell, the public address system set off the goal scoring horn every time the Hawks scored during their game 3 5-2 win at Vancouver. Walking between the El, the northside watering holes and my home, I could hear a few people joyously screaming in their own homes when the Hawks scored their final goal, even though the outcome had already been determined by the fourth one late in the 3rd period.

[Read more…]