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Fat people rule in NFL Draft: Offensive Linemen? Yawn.

April 26, 2013 By paulmbanks

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When I realized around 4 pm that Eric Fisher OT of Central Michigan was going to be the #1 overall pick in the 2013 NFL Draft, I declared this the dumbest draft ever; three hours before it even started. I was right.

Someone no one had heard of it or even cared about three months ago was about to come the NFL’s newest highly paid franchise player. Then it became the offensive linemen draft. HOW EXCITING! AND INTERESTING! Right now I’m going to find a crappy 2-star recruit starting for a middle tier MAC school and mock him first in my 2015 NFL mock draft. That way I’ll scoop everybody.

Maybe I’ll take Taylor Lewan and Jake Matthews in my 2014 NFL mock draft and move to #1 and #2. Of course, with all the blockers came all the defensive linemen too in the top ten. So it was the linemen draft; the big boy draft, the fat boy draft, the big uglies draft. Yawn.

As a former back/receiver I’ve never felt so oppressed in my life. Of course, even talking about high school football after age 20 makes you sound like a big time loser, and I’m 35, so I’ll stop there. However, the point is, what happened to all the WRs, RBs, DBs, QBs! I didn’t know skill position football players were such an oppressed minority. At least some linebackers were taken later, so that was cool.

This really was the stupidest. draft. ever.

Last night wasn’t just the worst NFL Draft ever. It was the worst draft. Worst NBA Draft. Worst military draft. Worst draft beer. Worst article 1st draft. Worst rough draft outline.

It had fewer college football stars and more guys you’ve NEVER HEARD OF than any draft in recent memory. It featured more “combine monsters” and “project picks” than actual accomplished football players “Ziggy Ansah #5 overall. WTF? Who the eff is this guy six weeks ago?” Even the receivers taken were obscure on college football Saturdays. How many times last night did I say to myself “DON’T CARE!” when the pick was made?

The NBA draft has three bigger advantages than the NFL Draft. 1.) it features a much higher percentage of guys you’ve actually heard of 2.) it has all those ugly ass suits which are worth laughing at 3.) It’s much shorter and to the point. See you June 25th!

Paul M. Banks is the owner of The Sports Bank.net. He’s also an author who also contributes regularly to MSN, Fox Sports , Chicago Now, Walter Football.com and Yardbarker

Banks has appeared on Comcast SportsNet and the History Channel, as well as Clear Channel, ESPN and CBS radio all over the world. President Barack Obama follows him on Twitter (@PaulMBanks)

Filed Under: NFL, NFL Draft

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