The Michigan Wolverines and Northwestern Wildcats truly deserve each other. Rod Flanders once said on The Simpsons “lies made baby Jesus cry.” So does looking at the box score from this abomination. So I’ll spare you the numbers and statistics. Trust me, they’re hideous and you really don’t want to see them. Trust me- you don’t.
Of course, the facts and figures and numbers will somehow be fed to you anyway.
Instead, here’s a few observations and jokes, at the expense of both the Northwestern Wildcats and the Michigan Wolverines. As well as some interesting and thoughtful tweets sprinkled in.
Dear @NU_Sports, we should just both agree to walk away from this game and pretend it never happened. Sincerely #Michigan
— Jeremy Ross (@JeremyAdamRoss) November 8, 2014
whatever you do in life, you’re much better at doing it than the Northwestern OL is at blocking — Paul M. Banks (@PaulMBanks) November 8, 2014
Not even hyperbole: This Michigan-NW 0-0 game might be the worst non-bad-weather offensive game in college FB history. — Bob Wojnowski (@bobwojnowski) November 8, 2014
This game is up there with the 1995 #Illini vs. Wisconsin 3-3 tie in the annals of Big Ten crappiness. #MICHvsNU — The Frustrated Fan (@Frustrated_Fan) November 8, 2014
The soundtrack to both Michigan and Northwestern playing offense today is “Yakety-Sax” (Benny Hill theme)
— Paul M. Banks (@PaulMBanks) November 8, 2014
With the win, the Michigan Wolverines keep their Quick Lane Bowl “hopes” and “dreams” alive. You can’t use the phrase “keeps their Quick Lane Bowl hopes alive” since no one hopes of going to that bowl. EVER.
Paul M. Banks owns, operates and very often writes The Sports Bank.net ,which is partners with Fox Sports. Read his features stories in the Chicago Tribune RedEye edition. Listen to him on 1620 The Zone. Follow him on Twitter (@paulmbanks). His work has been featured in hundreds of media outlets including The Washington Post and ESPN 2