Cavaliers retiring Zydrunas Ilgauskas’ jersey: joke writes itself


Zydrunas Ilgauskas

With Zydrunas Ilgauskas night, the Cleveland Cavaliers are doing everything they can to try and supplant the Browns as the most pathetic sports franchise in Cleveland. And you thought the infamous “Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video 2” made Cleveland a laughingstock.

We know the Browns are an organization that operates to the tune of Yakety Sax a.k.a. the Benny Hill theme, but the Cavs are right down there beside them.


Shout out to Brett Lyons from 670 The Score for catching this. From the Cavaliers website:

On Saturday, March 8th, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, one of the most beloved players to ever wear a Cavs uniform, will have his #11 jersey retired and raised to hang in the rafters of Quicken Loans Arena alongside other Cavalier greats. It will become a permanent reflection of what the big “man in the middle” with a big heart has meant to the franchise and Cleveland

As the Cavs host the New York Knicks at 7:30 p.m., the night will celebrate and honor the 7-foot-3 inch Lithuanian center who was drafted by the Cavaliers in the first-round of the 1996 draft and went on to play 12 seasons for the Wine & Gold.


“Wine and Gold”?? That’s seriously their team colors? WTF? Notice how many words are on that link? The Cavs promotional write-up is that long?

Don’t you have be to exceptionally good to have your number retired? Isn’t that the rule? Then again, these are the Cavs. They’re really only known for three things: winning the #1 overall pick in the lottery a lot/being bad a lot so they have a great chance to win the lottery, Lebron James and “The Decision,” their owner’s lunatic Comic Sans font screed against James.

Well, once again the Cavs are terrible and no one seems to want to play there, and the guys on the team don’t seem to want to try very often. Gotta feel bad for Kyrie Irving and Luol Deng. You can understand why they want out, this franchise is pathetic and is desperately doing this to drum up some positive publicity.

Zydrunas Ilgauskas logged career averages of 13.0 points on .476 shooting, 7.3 rebounds and 1.6 blocks in 27.2 minutes in 843 games (724 starts). He actually made the All-Star team twice!

Paul M. Banks owns The Sports, an affiliate of Fox Sports. An MBA and Fulbright scholar, he’s also a frequent analyst on news talk radio; with regular segments on ESPN,NBCCBS and Fox. A former NBC Chicago and Washington Times writer, he’s also been featured on the History Channel. President Obama follows him on Twitter (@paulmbanks)

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  1. Does the OP actually know that the Cleveland tourism videos on YouTube were made by a Cleveland comedian that loves loves this city? This article is a joke.

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