Re-evaluating the NFC North QB wives/girlfriends

samantha-steele

What follows isn’t a ranking or rating of any kind, but a list. I’ll let you decide for yourself which NFC North QB, the leader of the Chicago Bears, Green Bay Packers, Minnesota Vikings, or Detroit Lions, landed the best arm-candy.

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Predictions on How Favre-Sterger Sexting Scandal Will End

jenn sterger

About 3-4 days ago, the NFL said they were in the midst of their investigation into Brett Favre’s alleged sexting of Jenn Sterger, and that they would have a ruling on the Minnesota Vikings QB in 7-10 days. Therefore, as of Thursday October 28th, the sports media story of the year (originally broken by Deadspin, NOT ESPN) will all be over with, and we’ll have closure.

At “press time,” Sterger was considering offers of financial consideration in exchange for her silence. Favre admits to phoning Sterger and asking her to come over, and nothing more as of yet. Deanna Favre is saying nothing except that she has faith, and the New York Jets massage therapists are nowhere to be found.

So here’s how I think it’ll play out. And for those of you that bet on sport, please take these predictions with a grain of salt. Actually take them with a whole truckload of salt:

By Paul M. Banks

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Deanna Favre Speaks, but Mostly Silent on Sexting Scandal

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Some have referred to Jenn Sterger as the victim in the Brett Favre alleged sexting scandal, and to some extent that’s true. No one wants to be harassed/the recipient of unwanted creepiness, but the real victim here is actually Brett Favre’s wife Deanna. This must be a very difficult time for her as the embarrassment she’s probably feeling must be beyond belief.

Deanna Favre was interviewed today on “Good Morning America” about a book she co-authored with Shane Stanford titled “The Cure for the Chronic Life,” which is about getting past hard times and patterns of unhealthy behavior.

Deanna has admitted publicly in recent years that she’s well aware of Favre’s cheating, and once threatened to leave him because of it. (And yes, it made me queasy just now to link out to a Rupert Murdoch owned publication. I’ll need to shower four times today to clean that filth off!)

By Paul M. Banks

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Evaluating the NFC North Starting QB Girlfriends/Wives

stafford_girlfriend_implants

The rumor mill spins out of control with alleged Jay Cutler-Kristin Cavallari, and Aaron Rodgers-Erin Andrews trysts, so we realized something about NFC North QBs— they can really pull some tail. And we haven’t yet mentioned the hundreds of times Brett Favre allegedly cheated on his wife, (We’ll skip discussing the whole alleged Jenn Sterger SEXTING incident) or Matthew Stafford‘s gorgeous former University of Georgia cheerleader who made sports blog “news” (do they make air quotes strong enough for me to convey my condescension for referring to that as “news”?) when she recently got implants.

So, to quote the Black-Eyed Peas, “let’s get retarded in here,” and discuss the most mindless topic of all: celebrity gossip. What follows isn’t a ranking or rating of any kind, but a list. I’ll let you decide for yourself which NFC North QB, the leader of the Chicago Bears, Green Bay Packers, Minnesota Vikings, or Detroit Lions, landed the best arm-candy.

By the way, if you want to read about actual football, read our ranking of the QBs themselves here. In that column, we don’t use the word “alleged” 3,000 times in the opening paragraph.

By Paul M. Banks

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