By Rikki Greenberg

I already have my Sunday television schedule all set. The Bears play the Lions at noon, and right after is the US Pole Dancing Federation East Regional Pole Dance Competition 2009. Oh yes ladies and gentleman. After a thrilling mish-mash of shoulder pads and spandex football pants, I will be moving on to metal poles, hair-whips and spandex short shorts.

The USPDF hosted a similar event in March that was extremely successful and it was only a matter of time before they hosted another one. The East Regional Pole Dance Competition 2009 is the preliminary competition leading up to next year’s national competition. The USPDF joined forces with E-Fit Dance/Shergold Studio and Sunday afternoon’s festivities features 12 contestants who will perform in two rounds. The winner of the competition will receive USPDF pro-status and will be eligible  to compete in the USPDF National Championships 2010.

It’s in my nature as a football fan and proud fantasy mama of one to do the research and figure out how these contestants compare to one another. Take a look at the official Pole Dancing Power Rankings.

(1)   Jessalynn Medairy
Consider her the Peyton Manning of Pole Dancing with a resume equally as impressive.

(2)   Karol Helms, NC
This contestant is packing major heat with an arsenal of extremely flexible and extraordinary tricks.
(3)   Gabrielle Valliere from NY
Valliere is a very strong and sensual competitor and let’s not forget her ties to the sports world with past NFL cheerleading experience.


(4)   Katheryn Bouchillion, FL
Bouchillion is a triple threat (mom, pole dancing studio owner, Aerial Performer) and already has a title to her pole dancing persona. If JessaLynn is Peyton Manning, than Bouchillion is Thomas Jones circa 2005-2008.

(5)   Lauren Goldstein, NY
Although Lauren does impress with her advanced pole dancing skill, it’s the risqué nature and overtly sexual moves that could sway the judges in a negative way.
(6)   Takeila Fox
Fox makes pole dancing look graceful in 5 inch white stiletto heels and keeps it classy without exploiting her sexuality. Fox has the potential to be the sleeper pick for this year’s competition.

(7)   Kyra Johannesen, NY
Johannesen has the advantage of experience over some of the participants, but her relaxed style of pole dancing may put the judges to sleep.

Kyra Jo USPDF Entry 09 from Kyra Johannesen on Vimeo.
(8)   Rhonda Chamberlain, VA
Has 4 years of pole dancing experience and one year as a starter (instructor for The Dirty Bunny). Despite having a limited pole dancing background, Chamberlain could come out heels a blazin’  i.e. Joe Flacco or Matt Ryan.

(9)   Eksupar Tongsri, NY
Practicing optometrist by day and competitive pole dancer by night. I thought I was getting crazy when I took a day job as a receptionist and walked the sidelines of a football field at night.

(10)Allison Cox, FL
Self taught pole dancer turned instructor. Judging by her picture, she seems to be at a rookie level, 2 years at the most since she did spend time studying pole dancing tape. Could be a Mark Sanchez or Brady Quinn circa 2008. Your call.

(11)Tara Leigh Moore, VA
Moore may be tiny (4’11, 90 pounds), but don’t let the small stature fool you. Any woman who can do the splits mid air while using just the legs for support is a superstar in my book.

(12)Erica Shergold/Laci Rose, VA
Some confusion over which name Ms. Shergold goes by, but you have to give her credit for incorporating props and classic seductress theme music to her demo routine.