Washington trounced Illinois 44-19 on Saturday, in a game that was even uglier than it sounds. It only took 188 yards for UW to hit 35 points, and they reached that mark by the middle of the second quarter. Tim Beckman did show improvement from 2012 to 2013, but in this young season, they’ve shown no improvement. They might be regressing from last year, but it’s too early to say for certain at this point.
One thing is for certain, the coaching staff failed the players miserably, as the Illini were very ill-prepared in this one. Tim Beckman offered an explanation for this train wreck, telling the media:
“You take out 21 points on three plays and we’re in this football game.”
Let me repeat that intelligence-insulting soundbite for you again:
“You take out 21 points on three plays and we’re in this football game.”
Okay, we’ll give you that. Lots of coaches use this excuse all the time. It dumbs down every reporter in the room every time that it’s uttered in a press conference, but we’ll allow it here. Because now we’re going to apply that same “logic” to other facts of life.
Other college football programs:
You take away the last three Nick Saban recruiting classes, and Alabama has very mediocre talent on their roster.”
Other sports:
“You take away three players, Lebron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh, and maybe the Miami Heat don’t make the playoffs.”
Celebrities:
“You take away three physical features, her face, her lower body and her upper body, and Candice Swanepoel is very plain looking.”
Diet:
“You take away the three meals with deep fried cheese wrapped in sausage grease and I ate very healthy today.”
Pop Culture:
“You take away Colin Hanks’ Dad (Tom Hanks)’s career and Hollywood connections, and he’s just an ordinary guy”
Media:
“You take away Fox Broadcasting Corporation, all the British and Australian tabloids, the Wall Street Journal and Rupert Murdoch doesn’t have a lot of influence”
Music:
“You take away his gigantic ego, his talentless wife and beyond stupid idea for what he named his kid and Kanye West seems like someone you would like to hang out with.”
Well, you get the idea. This is what happens when you apply Tim Beckman “logic” and “reasoning” in the real world.
Paul M. Banks owns, operates and sometimes writes The Sports Bank.net, which is partners with Fox Sports and Yahoo. Read his features stories in the Chicago Tribune RedEye edition. Listen to him on 1620 The Zone. Follow him on Twitter (@paulmbanks) His work has been featured in hundreds of media outlets including The Washington Post and ESPN2.