Moe-momentus Sox Exchange I



By Paul M. Banks, Soxman and Jason Moe

For this week’s Sox Exchange, Jason “Moe Diddy” Moe, The Sports President of SICA Operations and grinder Sox fan will join us from the suburban corporate headquarters in Lockport, IL.

(SM) Moe Diddy?  I don’t know if this week’s Sox Exchange should start with the music to the Three Stooges or  “Get Buck in Here” by Diddy.  Hmm, perhaps I can wear Sean John socks on my head.  Hey Moe, what do you think? 

(Moe) Soxman, you know we have to keep it Gangster up in here. We Fo Scho have to play “Get Buck in Here.” You wear the Sean John Sox and ‘’ll rock Sean John wristbands with a bandana kicking like Tupac. Gangsters Need Love 2…..

(PMB) SHORTY!!!! Scott Linebrink can get healthy and returns to the bullpen…NOW…PLEASE! That eighth inning implosion on national television Saturday was just….Yikes!  It would have been the perfect situation for him to come in and shut the Rays hitters down. 

(SM) Wise guy eh?  In key situations it seems Dotel is gets hit harder than Moe cracking Curly with a wrench.  His meltdown at the Cell on Friday was a little unorthodox as he’s usually a money pitcher at home, sporting a 2.73 home ERA vs. a 5.19 on the road.  More alarming is that his ERA, while still respectable, has risen from 3.17 to 3.88 this month.

Despite being on the DL for well over a month, Linebrink still leads the Sox in holds (19).  Hmm, seems like Diddy’s “ I’ll Be Missing You” would work best here…this is for you Mr. Linebrink.  Help me out “Moe Diddy.”

“Seems like yesterday, you used to rock the show, leading the league in holds ya know. Top of the game as far as relievers goes, until you developed some shoulder woes.  Since you’ve been gone Thornton’s been trying, but Dotel gets the ball, and Paul Banks starts crying, about how our pivot guy really stinks, as he can’t hand a lead over to Bobby Jenks.  My boy Moe Diddy is feeling lower than Cubby blue, hurry back Scott…we’re missin you.” 

(Moe) Is there even a time table for when Mr. Linebrinck comes back? I’ve been hearing he throws 15-30 pitches a day for the last two weeks!  Will he even be 100% when he comes back?  Dotel and Thornton need to step their games up!!!  Bobby Jenks is not striking people out, but in the ninth he is shutting teams out like I do to ugly SICA girls on the weekend.

Verse Two

It’s kinda hard to close a game when you’re not around
Know you’re on the DL your pitching arm is down
Blowing leads as we pray for you
Every eighth inning we long for you
Till the day you pitch again
In Soxman’s heart is where will keep you friend..
we’re missin you…


(PMB) Yeah…uhh…Bad Boy…And you don’t stop. And you don’t quit…Harlem World! Recognize…As in Harlem Avenue, 7200 West in the Chi. Any time Ken Griffey Jr. wants to start living up to the hype and earning his keep is fine by me! 

(SM) Griffey’s been more like Shemp Howard than the Curly we all hoped he would be.  Want proof?  In 150 ABs, Brian Anderson has 7 homers and 20 RBI.  If you take Griffey’s numbers during his 55 Abs and project them to the same amount of ABs as Anderson, Griffey has only three homers and 21 RBI.  Anderson is a part-time player who barely made the roster; not much more to say there. 

(Moe) When the Sox traded for Griffey, I thought it was going to be lighting in a bottle because he’s one of my all-time favorite players. Banks you know I always bust the Griffey Seattle jersey during bundles baseball. He is not even playing every day, and struggles against left handed pitchers.  I know we did not give much up for him, but if you’re not playing him, what was the point of bringing him in?

(PMB) Yes, I’ve seen that phat jersey. I really to get back to SICA for another Bundles game before summer ends. Seven White Sox pitchers have taken no-hitters past the sixth inning this season…It’s a damn shame that a few of those (Like Javier Vazquez’s otherwise gem of an outing Saturday) have not only resulted in a loss of the no-hitter and shutout, but also the game. 

(SM) It’s really a tough call for a manager to decide to make a move to the pen when your starter has a no-hitter going.  In Javy’s case on Saturday, his pitch count was low. He just had a typical Javy outing: one bad inning haunts him.  Hey Moe, care to throw a pie at this one?  

(Moe) I will take that pie and raise you an apple pie…I agree with Soxman, I think as a manager you let the pitcher battle all the way to the end. In High School, I was pitching a NO-NO against Argo my sophomore year going into the 7th. I had a high pitch count, but I had skills so coach left me in. The first batter that inning cranked one over the left fielder’s head. We won 12 to 1. There really is no moral to my story, but I wanted my story out there!!!

(PMB) Yes, that story did indeed have absolutely no relevance to what we’re talking about but I will say this: I hate Argo. Almost as much as Andrew or Reavis. Nothing wrong with re-living the glory days, don’t get me started on Stagg Charger swimming and my gridiron exploits. That’s why this site’s colors are blue and orange.


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  1. MOE!!!!! hilarious… and of course, he mentioned a rap song, referred to himself in the third person, and told a high school sports story about how good he is… brilliant

  2. paulmbanks says

    Wait till you see part two…and the pic in it!

  3. Heidi Hot Sox says

    I don’t have any idea who this Moe diddy guy is but he did a pretty good job talking with the second verse of the Puff Daddy Linebrink rap. Soxman, you get the creative gold medal on this exchange.

    I don’t understand anything about the references to SICA, Harlem or whatever, but the Sox stuff was gold as always!


  4. Soxman! THX for answering the Ken Griffey question. I sent this to your e-mail last week and you did not touch on it in yesterday’s blog.

    Who the heck is Jason Moe? A new writer?

    He did a pretty good job but might need more time in AAA lol. He seems a little arrogant.

  5. Bleeding Cheese says

    Good exchange guys. As a Wisconsin guy, I have no idea who the heck Jason Moe is, but I agree with Heidi he did a pretty good job on verse two.

    He kinda looks like Batboy without the mask and with facial hair. Is it him?

    Soxman, your humor and writing style are just over the top brother, kinda like a lot of passes Aaron Rogers will through this season. LOL

  6. The high school stuff was over my head.

    Great Sox commentary though and very creative as always Soxman.

    Your writing has a way of making guest writers to the exchange blend in.

    Don’t know anything about Moe Diddy, never heard of him, but the blending of Stooges and P Diddy was great.

    Where you all friends in high school or something?

  7. Jason Moe is Batboy. The secret is out. You should not have put the picture in there. It makes it obvious! LOL.

  8. Soxman we need to see you at the Cell again brother! When will you be posting your September game appearences?

  9. Banks, Break down the SICA….

    Diddy out!!!

  10. Who the heck is Jason Moe?

    He does look like Batboy!

    Great exchange and stunning thought on Griffey Soxman!

  11. Soxman, I fall in love with you more everytime I read your writing!

  12. PS… I mean that in a very non-gay kinda of way! A brother “luv” ya know?

  13. Soxman I’d like to rock your show!!!

    A gangsta Soxman? would love to see it.

    Is Jason Moe a new writer on your staff?

    No bad work. You guys could develop him.

  14. Fun article and great rap.

    I’m sure the moe guy was just joking but his line about ugly girls was a little offensive.

    Soxman great as always and Paul good job as well.

  15. Soxman I couldn’t agree with you more on Griffey.

    I think the sox best line-up was when Wise/Anderson platooned in CF, and Swisher played 1B. We had better defense and more speed.

    Griffey is a HOF player, but we can’t rely on sentiment, we need to rely on production.

  16. Soxman- I thought the same thing about Dotel.

    He’s either lights out or “lit up.”

    Don’t know moe either but congrats on joining the sportsbank.

    Good rap.

  17. Soxman awesome job as always.

    Paul nice job as well.

    You know me as the moral conscience of the sportsbank LOL.

    Moe’s writing is good but he reminds me of a frat boy in his writing style.

    I’d have to agree that the ugly girls ref could have been left out.

    We all know there is no such thing as an ugly Sox fan.

  18. Batboy’s babe: says

    Is that what Batboy looks like behind the mask?

    Alter ego? Batboy is pretty quiet and “Moe” comes off as cocky and a little brash. Hmmm. He can rap like Batboy did a couple exchanges ago.

    Does anyone know if this moe guy is Batboy?

  19. First time poster from Soxman’s site.

    He’s been busy here. No wonder he abandoned his myspace fans.

    Great writing Soxman as always. I’ve missed you. Thanks for pointing me here.

    Nice article. Not a fan of P Diddy’s music at all but it was still creative.

    XOXO- Erica

  20. No !@#!ing way this !@#!ing Moe kid is !@#!ing Batboy. I !@#!ing know big kids and he is !@#!ing not it.

    Still, this kid just need to play ya know. He can’t !@#ing give a s!@t about his numbers or the b!#!h’s he sleeps with. He needs to f!@#ing concentrate on the game.

    He’s got good stuff but he needs to not f!@#ing try so hard. He’s still better than F!@#ing Marriotti!!!

    Soxman and Paul you are f!@#ing amazing man.

  21. Mullet Kelly says

    Soxman your Red Eye work was hilarious yesterday. I could not stop laughing at your answers.

    Great to see you on myspace again as well.

    Awesome article. Moe good job for your first time. Hey, with Paul and Soxman it is like hitting between Quentin and Dye in the line-up!

  22. The Little Flirt says

    Awesome post!

    Soxman I like the Police version better but I had this vision of you rapin in your gear with Batboy or “Jason Moe” as he’s calling himself now adays with his arms folded boppin up and down.

    I lova ya!

  23. Myspace mike says

    Soxman I laughed my ass off at your Red Eye Fives yesterday. The funniest by far. Your rap is pretty good as well.

    I don’t think Jason Moe is Batboy.

    Awesome blog post yesterday. Good dedication to Andy Cam. I’ve seen that guy walking around a lot and always wondered how he managed.

    The sox are back in first by a game. It would have been 1.5 if we wouldn’t have stranded 18 runners in that first game!!!

  24. I know Batboy and Jason Moe…and trust me they are not the same person!

  25. Its good to have a moral conscience on the sports me they need it sometimes :)

  26. paulmbanks says

    Jason Moe is not Batboy, I know both of them very well.

    Could I likely have omitted Moe’s remark about ugly girls? Probably. I will be the first to admit that Moe has to work out some “control issues” here on the major league level LOL!

    But to be a good manager, I have to let him pitch through it and find his stride and comfort zone. This was his first spot start, and he did a good job giving us some strong innings. He gave up a couple runs yes, but I think he displayed a lot of his potential out there today…

    Look no further than Clayton Richard, he seems to be finding his groove

  27. paulmbanks says

    Thanks Ozzie and Mullet Kelly.

    Yes, Jason Moe’s style is very cocky, but we all know how everyone changes their persona a little in public than they are in real life. He’s a very grounded, down to earth guy in real life.

    believe it or not, people tell me I’m quieter and less of a know-it-all in person than what they expected! HA HA…they’re probably wrong though

  28. paulmbanks says

    We’re all from the same area and proud of our hometown.

    Sox Mom,

    thanks. it’s good to have you here, I enjoy having a moral policeman around.

    “We all know there is no such thing as an ugly Sox fan.”


    As for Moe sounding like a frat boy, I don’t think a lot of people are going to argue with that. but like Ozzie said here, we just need to let this kid play and find his style

  29. Billy Blast says

    Soxman great article in the Red Eye yesterday. I think you, Phil, Tracy, Bagboy, and Bagbot should be the everyday columnists. You always make me laugh.

    Didn’t think he was Batboy either. See Batboy’s Babe? The mystery is still alive. LOL

  30. Billy Blast says

    Moe did ok for his first time.

    At least no one was saying “that it?” Espcially no females. I’m sure Jason Moe never had a lady say that to him before…LOL

    Seriously, good job “new guy.”

  31. Moe should get Soxman to give him an American League of Justice name.

    That is if he has been added.

    I can’t believe Griffey’s numbers are no better than Anderson’s when you project them out.

    Soxman you always make your readers think.

    Paul congrats on the DC thing but you better not try and get Soxman to move with you. We need our hero right here.

  32. Thanks everyone for the props!!!

    I am not Bat boy!!!

    Some People Call Me MoeMan!!

    I don’t call it Cocky, but maybe a little into myself…

    Moe Diddy Runs The City!!!!

  33. Ahhh I think Soxman runs the city, unless o course you are talking about this SICA place. LOL.

    The articles were very good. This is one of the first places I go for my Sox fix each week.

    Soxman, I have the second overall pick in my draft. Brady, Peterson, or Westbrook?

  34. Thanks for making Sox fans proud Soxman. Great article, and insight.

    Your Red Eye work on Monday was off the charts funny.

    Paul is he that hilarious in person?

  35. Soxman- you complete me.

  36. Awesome post! I love it. Soxman you must not forget that Griffey’s on-base percentage is almost 100 points above Anderson. At least he can still draw a walk!

    Great article though. You are the best.

  37. Love the pic collage of you! Awesome.

  38. Good part II.

  39. moe i think you’re great! keep up the good work! keep slaying those hussies!

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