Fantasy Gods and Boobs: Week 1



by Peter Christian

Every website, newspaper and weekly magazine does a small blurb that lists best fantasy player at each position. At The Sports Bank we like to be a little different and in doing so each week the staff here will work together to compile a realistic team of the best performances of the week. On the flip side we will also compile a realistic team of players that crapped the bed. Enjoy!

Why Your Team Won:

The top teams scoring teams this week most likely relied on Adrian Peterson, Drew Brees or the Philadelphia Eagles defense as they had monster weeks to start the 2009 season. Unless you are playing in a keeper league it is highly unlikely that you have both Peterson and Brees, however the AD-Eagles combo or Brees-Eagles combo is far more likely. Either of those two combinations on your team means there is a very high probability that you cruised to an easy victory to start your season. What, however, is the best possible team that you realistically could have drafted in a 10 team league (standard team settings)? The Sports Bank is here to find out.


Week One Gods

Adrian Peterson – 180 Rush Yds, 3 TD, 18 Rec. Yds

Eagles Defense – 10 points allowed, 5 sacks, 5 INT, 2 Fumbles recovered, 2 TD

Tony Romo – 353 Pass Yds, 3 Pass TD

Thomas Jones – 107 Rush Yds, 2 TD

Reggie Wayne – 162 Rec. Yds, 1 TD

John Carlson – 95 Rec. Yds, 2 TD

Santonio Holmes – 131 Rec. Yds, 1 TD

Greg Jennings – 106 Rec. Yds, 1 TD

Neil Rackers – 3 FG (44, 29, 43) 1 PAT

That is a completely realistic team (that could have been drafted and started) that in most standard scoring leagues would have netted you a whopping total of 212 points! Granted you likely would have had to have the 1st or 2nd pick to land Peterson, but with your next four picks being Wayne, Jennings, Jones & Romo you would be in great shape. Holmes likely would have been taken with the 7th round pick and the Eagles Defense being taken with the 9th round pick. Carlson as a starting TE is completely believable as a 10th round pick (if the owner drafted for RB and WR depth in the 6th and 8th rounds) and Rackers is a late round kicker too. Add in the fact that those players average projected score (based on Yahoo and ESPN projections) was 105 and you would have a pretty amazing overachieving week.


Why Your Team Lost:

Then there is the other side of the coin. The team that you were soooo excited about that made you pull your hair out on Sunday.

Week One Boobs

Matt Forte – 55 Rush Yds

Steve Slaton – 17 Rush Yds, 35 Rec. Yds, 1 Fumble Lost

Steve Smith – 4 Rush Yds, 21 Rec. Yds

Ronnie Brown – 43 Rush Yds, 10 Rec. Yds

Brandon Marshall – 27 Rec. Yds

Dallas Clark – 39 Rec. Yds

Matt Schaub – 166 Pass Yds, 1 INT

Ravens Defense – 24 points allowed, 3 sacks

Adam Vinatieri – 2 PAT, 1 Missed FG

That team with a surprising number of big names combined to put up a whopping 27 points compared to the average projection of 102 points. If your team looks anything like this (completely possible if you had the 3rd-5th pick of your draft and your draft went Forte, Slaton, Smith, Brown, Marshall, Clark, Schaub, Ravens D thru the first 8 rounds and then took Vinatieri late) you are probably bitching about your team to anyone who will listen and are currently deciding to hold on to Steve Smith until the Panthers bench Jake Delhomme or dangle him out there now for low value. The worst part is that no matter what you are doing, you are dreading the standings being updated tomorrow morning because you are going to be DEAD LAST.

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  1. Wow… you put way more thought into that than I could ever give you credit for. You didn’t just list the best players. You listed probable team. You certainly have plenty of time on your hands. Need a part time job that pays no money?

  2. Peter Christian says

    Look for it every week.

  3. I don’t think Pete ever sleeps. I don’t know how he does it. How can a human being consume that much sports, and still have to time to watch so much trashy television?

  4. Neil Rackers….I-L-L!!!

    Forte is alarming, his slump goes back to the last few games of last year. he really needs a game against the Lions to wake himself up

  5. Peter Christian says

    I sleep plenty, although I tend to get most of it after 2 am and before 10 am, which isn’t very conducive to a “normal” schedule but it does allow me to consume as much sports and tv as possible.

  6. rikki greenberg says

    I finally got myself a fantasy football team for this season, so I’ll be looking for this every week :)

  7. rikki greenberg says

    It’s time I kick somebody’s ass in football!

  8. rikki greenberg says

    Now I know why I wanted to comment on this article.

    Fantasy boobs? Is that a new term for flops??

  9. Fantasy boobs? I guess that belongs in the Urlacher picture I placed in the post about his getting injured…the prescription to fix his injury too. “take two of these and call me in the morning”….to give me all the details.

  10. Greenberg, you should’ve joined our league..I;m glad to hear you’re playing fantasy’d probably beat my team….well, maybe Soxman will turn my squad around

  11. rikki.greenberg says

    Is it too late to join??

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