Douchebracket: David Kay Regional

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By: David Kay

The David Kay Regional as you could probably guess is a little basketball heavy.  There are certainly big shoes to fill from last year when Rachel Nichols DOMINATED this regional.  Make sure to leave a comment at the bottom because your opinion will factor into who advances and battles the winner of the Peter Christian Regional in the Final Four.

1 The Leprechaun Fu#$er

You are probably more familiar with him being referred to as Luke Harangody, but not here at The Sports Bank.  He is the Leprechaun Fu#$er.  His jump shot is douchey.  The way he flops and constantly looks befuddled when he is called for a foul are both douchey.  His hair-cut is douchey.  His general being is douchey.  He is the Kansas of my regional and it will take a monumental upset for him not to advance to the Final Four.
16- “That Guy” in pick-up basketball
You know “that guy” who constantly hacks, chucks up awful shots, constantly calls fouls, and thinks he is WAY better than he actually is.  Then when you call a foul on him, he tries to fight you.  Gotta love “that guy.”

8- Basketball players with Fo-hawks
Dumb.
9- Basketball players with designs in their hair
Occasionally cool, but mostly dumb.

5- Useless Januray Bowl Games
The GMAC Bowl was played on January 6th pitting Central Michigan against Troy.  Do we really need this bowl game the night before the National Title is decided?  What a build-up.  Yawn!
12- Bragging about picking an upset in your bracket.
Congrats.  We all get one right.  Way to pick that 5/12 upset buddy.  What’s that?  You lose two Final Four teams in the first weekend?  Thanks for your $5 donation, but way to pick that upset!

4- Dick Vitale’s schtick
As a college basketball fanatic, I respect and admire Dickie V’s passion and knowledge for the game.  But his schtick is more played out than survivors of Oceanic flight 815 wondering throughout the jungle.  Thankfully, ESPN has cut back on Vitale’s workload which means less “Are you serious,” “diaper dandies,” and “agile, mobile and fragile” phrases which makes us all winners.
13- Brent Musberger’s nickname for Xavier Henry
“X”  Musberger is the only person I have heard call the Kansas freshman this name and he is a 70-year fossil.  It’s not cool dude.  Hopefully Henry turns pro after this season so we never have to hear it again.  Please?

6- “Jokingly” waving a gun in your teammate’s face

This one really needs no further explanation.
11- Over-reacting to being hit by a pitch
My favorite is when a player is hit by a curve ball or an 0-2 fastball that got away from the pitcher.  Do your thing hitter; throw that bat, stare down the pitcher down as you walk to first base with a look of “how dare you.”  Suck it up.  It’s baseball.  It’s going to happen.

3- NFL Draft Combine Coverage
Tim Tebow’s vertical is 38.5 inches?!?!?  Really??? That will help him in the NFL when he is… um… uh… or when he needs to… hmmmm…
14- Half-time shows
Super Bowl, All-Star Games, etc.  I don’t want to see beyond their prime performers like the Who or Bruce Springsteen sound terrible and bounce around the stage like they are 25 years old.  What happened to the good old days of a Nelly/Aerosmith collaboration or a Janet Jackson nipple?  Okay, bad examples, but you get the point.

7- The Shadiness of College Coaches
Here’s to you Rick Pitino, John Calipari, Lane Kiffin, Pete Carroll, etc…
10- Sonny Vaccaro
Trusting a man named Sonny seems like as good an idea as signing Milton Bradley to improve your team chemistry.  Vaccaro is pretty much the creator of AAU basketball and the man responsible for ushering high school players Brandon Jennings and Jeremy Tyler to play professionally in Europe.  He is considered the most influential man in amateur basketball (aka he is a shady, shady dude.)

2- Brett Favre Haters

SUCK IT!
15- Bears Fans
First it was Jay Cutler being the savior of the franchise.  How’d that turn out?  Now, it’s Julius Peppers and Chester Taylor.  Slow down please.  Get an offensive line and then maybe we can talk.

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Comments

  1. Peter Christian says

    Do my votes get discounted in your bracket because your winner faces my winner? That said, Bears fans are way underseeded, they deserve a real shot to make the Final Four.

  2. I am not opposed to the 2-15 upset…

  3. paulmbanks says

    AGREE I could see Bears fans winning this thing- HANDS DOWN!

    “up, up and away babbbbbbbyyyyyyyyyy” are you serious???!!!!

  4. Melissa W. says

    I’m in agreement–Bears Fans, The Leprechaun, and I’d lastly say NFL combine coverage of Tebow because THEN Tebow had his own damn media day which wasn’t fair. SO now, that basically doubles your douche. DOUBLE YOUR DOUCHE, DOUBLE YOUR FUN, DOUBLEDOUCHE GUM.

  5. As always, beyond entertaining. Gotta love 16, I know that’s a personal experience…that rage is still building inside you isn’t it?
    I’m definitely OK with the 2-15 upset, after all, I’m one of those haters.
    My favorites are 1, 3 and 6.

  6. haha I love your 16 seed. Getting hollered at for not hustling by dudes that think they’re JJ Redick or Stephen Curry is highly annoying and entertaining. Especially when their peak was the sixth man on their HS team senior year.

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