Douchebracket: David Kay Regional Final


The NCAA Tournament has been rocked with upset after upset.  Supposed super powers Kansas and Syracuse did not even advance to the Elite 8 and two five seeds are in the Final Four.  However, the David Kay Regional of the Sports Bank’s Douchebracket saw no such thing.  Click here to take a look at the complete regional.

First Round Results:

#1 The Leprachaun Fu#$er beats #16 “That guy” in pick-up basketball
“That guy” was diving all over the floor, hustling on both ends, and calling his own fouls; keeping things close in the first half.  But The LF a.k.a. Luke Harangody showed off his supreme doucheness in the second half to run away with this one.

#8 Basketball Players with fo-hawks beat #9 Basketball Players with designs in their hair
A quadruple-overtime game that saw Anthony Mason miss the game-winning shot at the buzzer.

#5 Useless January Bowl Games beat #12 Bragging about picking an upset in your brackets
No 5-12 upset here equals no bragging rights.

#4 Dick Vitale’s schtick beats #13 Brent Musberger’s nickname for Xavier Henry
“X” was unable to come through in the clutch as Dickie V. was “mobile, agile, and certainly not fragile.”

#11 Over-reacting to being hit by a pitch beats #6 “Jokingly” waving a gun in your teammate’s face
For the first time in the history of the Douchebracket, there was a forfeit as the six seed was serving jail time and could not make the game.

#3 NFL Draft Combine Coverage beats #14 Half-time shows
Half-time shows were completely psyched out when the three-seed benched 225 pounds 67 times during warm-ups.

#7 The shadiness of college coaches beats Sonny Vaccaro
The shadiness of a group of people crushes the shadiness of one person.

#15 Bears Fans beats #2 Brett Favre Haters
Since most Bears Fans are Brett Favre haters, they pull off the massive upset

Second Round:
#1 The Leprechaun Fu#$er beats #8 Basketball Players with fo-hawks
He does not have a fo-hawk, but the LF’s hair is even worse.  To quote Zoolander, “hello, have you ever heard of styling gel?”

#4 Dick Vitale’s schitck beats #5 Useless Jaunuary Bowl Games
The four seed’s “diaper dandy” was a real “PT pier” this game and afterwards, Vitale chastised the number five seed for announcing it was turning pro.

#3 NFL Draft Combine Coverage beats #11 Over-reacting to being hit by a pitch
The 11 seed was completely thrown off from the opening tip when the three seed laid out a series of cones on the court.

#15 Bears Fans beat #7 The shadiness of college coaches
A shocking development; the seven seed’s coach quit before the game to accept a similar position for more money and immediately after the game the seven seed went under investigation by the Sports who determined all their wins from the previous season had to be forfeited and scholarships revoked.

Sweet 16
#1 The Leprechaun Fu#$er beats #4 Dick Vitale’s schtick
The four seed’s voice was so hoarse that he couldn’t even muster the strength to say, “Are you serious?”

#3 NFL Draft Combine Coverage beats #15 Bears Fans
Despite playing this game with no shirts or shoes and just a spandex pair of Under Armour shorts, the three seed advances.

Elite 8
#1 The Leprechaun Fu#$er beats #3 NFL Draft Combine Coverage
The LF kept hitting ugly fallaway jumper after ugly fallaway jumper while flopping numerous times on the defensive end to take charges.  As for the three seed, a poor performance has dropped his draft stock from a possible second round pick to likely fifth round prospect despite it’s strong performance during the past four years.

So there you have it, The Leprechaun Fu#$er will represent the David Kay Regional in the Sports Bank’s Douchebracket Final Four.  Awaiting the LF is an extremely challenging opponent in David Kahn; winner of the Peter Christian Regional.  Be sure to check back at the Sports Bank and vote for the Final Four.  Your opinion will determine who is crowned 2010 Douche of the Year.

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