TSB.net NFL Playoff Predictions

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By The Sports Bank Staff
 

PAUL M. BANKS

NFC WILD CARD

Eagles beat Vikings- A song for the Minnesota QB “I’m sorry Ms. Jackson, oooh, you are not for real. Never meant to make your receiver cry, I just want to apologize.”

Falcons beat Cardinals- How is Arizona an actual playoff team? Kurt Warner has a very close relationship with Jesus, but I don’t think that even the son of man could help this team on defense. Turning water into wine? Check, helping a woeful Cards defense from surrendering 30+ points and 450+ yards? Not so much. 

NFC DIVISIONAL ROUND

Giants beat Eagles- The Eagles are underrated no doubt, but I don’t feel like picking any team that had a tie this season; let alone with such a crappy team as Cincinnaughty.

Panthers beat Falcons- Look for this intriguing NFC NASCAR division match-up to be decided on the ground. Both teams will battle for field position and time of possession with the big Cats edging out the ATL.

NFC CHAMPIONSHIP

Panthers beat Giants- Carolina will raise up and celebrate the end of the Giants season at an Applebee’s in the suburbs of Charlotte. Plaxico will not be invited.
 

AFC WILD CARD

Colts beat Chargers- Sorry Mr. Tomlinson and Mr. Rivers, you had a window, but it’s now closed. Enjoy your descent back to mediocrity. How rare is it to see the road team in an NFL playoff a solid favorite

Ravens beat Dolphins- When is comes down to “The Wire” Baltimore’s defense is big time clutch. Miami is a fluke. The Wildcat is gimmick in its 14th minute and the Dolphins don’t belong here. Luckily, for America they won’t stay long.
 

AFC DIVISIONAL ROUND

Colts beat Steelers- Remember in the old arcade game NBA Jam Session when you’d make a bunch of shots in a row? And the ball had smoke and flames behind it? Because you were literally on fire, that’s the Colts right now.

Titans beat Ravens- One thing I hated about the last time Kerry Collins was in a Super Bowl, I had to endure two weeks of people telling me I look like him. I think that the Penn State product and his team are on mission this season- so I’ll have to bite the bullet again this winter. Of course, not everyone truly remembers these Titans anyway.

AFC CHAMPIONSHIP

Titans beat Colts- An all AFC NASCAR Division title game. Look for Peyton to get knocked around big time and for Kerry Collins to show the world how far he has come since his days as a racist, drunk mediocre QB in New Orleans.

SUPER BOWL

Panthers beat Titans- Indeed the South will rise again- as the league establishes itself further and increases growth in two markets that didn’t exist 15 years ago. Most of the nation, however, tunes in for the commercials. However, I think this game will be surprisingly more entertaining than people expect.  

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DAVID K.

NFC WILD CARD

Eagles beat Vikings- Even though Tavaris Jackson has shown a Kyle Orton-like resurrection, I still can’t pick him in a playoff game.

Falcons beat Cardinals- Arizona lost four of their last six with the victories coming at home against the Rams and Seahawks.  Falcons will be battle tested having played in the toughest division in football. 
 

NFC DIVISIONAL ROUND

Eagles beat Giants- The Giants just don’t have the magic this season…like they did a year ago when they ruined my dream of covering Brett Favre and the Packers in the Super Bowl.  Yes, I’m still bitter.

Panthers beat Falcons- Matt Ryan’s magical rookie run comes to a crashing end as the Panthers run all over the Dirty Birds. 

NFC CHAMPIONSHIP
 

Panthers beat Eagles- The DeAngelo Williams/Jonathan Stewart duo proves to be too much as the Eagles continue their tormented history of falling short of the ultimate goal.

AFC WILD CARD

Colts beat Chargers- There is no way this should be a home game for the Chargers.  And if the Colts lose, people will sure hear about the stupidity of a division winner automatically getting a home game in the wild card.

Ravens beat Dolphins- The rejuvenated Ravens D stuff the Wildcat.  And for the record, I am picking all four road teams in the Wild Card games. 
 

AFC DIVISIONAL ROUND

Colts beat Steelers- Whoever wins this game represents the AFC in the Super Bowl.  Indy’s impressive nine-game win streak includes a week 9 win in Steel City.  Expect a repeat performance.

Titans beat Ravens- Kerry Collins! Joe Flacco! NFL Playoffs on CBS! Yawn.
 

AFC CHAMPIONSHIP

Colts beat Titans- Colts complete the run of winning three road games en route to the Super Bowl.  By the way, if I could have any NFL coach be my father, it would be Tony Dungy.  Lovie Smith would be a close second.

SUPER BOWL

Colts beat Panthers- this new Peyton Manning commercial is enough for me to root for Indy…
 

DAVID PALMER

NFC WILD CARD

Eagles beat Vikings- Unless Peterson finds the cure for fumblitis in the next couple days, I don’t see their offense being able to move the ball, and their terrible special teams play will definitely come into play.

Falcons beat Cardinals- The Cards are just happy to be here, and the Falcon’s running game is too much for Arizona to contend with.  Kurt Warner’s wife can’t light enough prayer candles for this game.

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NFC DIVISIONAL ROUND

Giants beat Eagles- Andy Reid’s beard finally runs out of magic, and some Persians make an elaborate rug out of it.

Panthers beat Falcons- Running vs. running = Steve Smith being the X factor.  Matt Ryan meets Julius Peppers too many times and finally makes some rookie mistakes.
 

NFC CHAMPIONSHIP

Panthers beat Giants- Delhomme’s Tommy John surgery gives him some extra velocity on his slider.  Justin Tuck won’t be able to pick it up.  I see a three stike-out game for him.  Eli forgets his Citizen Eco Drive in the locker room and is surprisingly stoppable. He also becomes the first player to ever cry on the field after the game.
 

AFC WILD CARD

Colts beat Chargers- Colts stay hot, Bob Sanders make their defense good enough to slow down Rivers and company.  LT is not the same game changer he once was.

Dolphins beat Ravens- It seems like everybody has been picking the Ravens and completely dismissing the ‘Phins.  If they get a 10 point lead at any time I don’t see the Ravens being able to come back, and Pennington is looking laser sharp lately. 

AFC DIVISIONAL ROUND

Colts beat Steelers- Tough game, two teams that have won it all in the last few years, two big game QB’s, two playmaking safeties, two cities with a high unemployment/alcoholism rate.  Peyton does just enough to beat the Steel curtain.

Dolphins beat Titans – Titans peaked early, Dolphins peaking at the right time.  The wildcat formation is too much for Tennessee to handle.  Kerry Collins finds his way back to the nearest bar after the game.

AFC CHAMPIONSHIP

Colts beat Dolphins- Those Colts are so hot right now (Mugatu voice).  Dolphins magic carpet ride (on Andy Reid’s beard) comes to an end.
 

SUPER BOWL

Colts beat Panthers- Indy is smart enough not to piss off Steve Smith on media day, and the Peytons are too much for Carolina to handle in typical Super Bowl rout.

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Soxman’s Play Calls…

NFC WILD CARD

Eagles beat Vikings- What kind of Sox superhero would I be if I didn’t make a baseball analogy?  The Philadelphia Eagles remind me of the 2005 Chicago White Sox.  Not predicted to do much by most experts, they have caught lightening in a bottle at the right time and with some help from the hands of fate, have willed their way into the play-offs.
 For all the grief, the Eagles offense is given, they are the 6th best in the NFL.  It’s time for lady luck to ride in on an Eagle. I love the underdog and it’s the Eagles baby.
 
Cardinals beat the Falcons- This is a tough game to call but I have to give the edge to the Cardinals.  Despite the fact the Cardinals were a completely different football team in the second half of the season, they still have the second-best passing game in the NFL. In order to pull this victory off, they will have to stop Michael Turner and force Matt Ryan to beat them with the pass. I honestly believe this game could go either way, but I’m going against the grain of the experts and picking the Cardinals.   
 
 

NFC DIVISIONAL ROUND
 
Eagles beat Giants-
The Giants are a fantastic team but were impacted by a series of distractions in the second half of the season.  While Hixon has been a serviceable fill in at WR, he does not have the dynamic play making ability of Plaxico Burress. The Eagles will continue to soar.  Insert David and Goliath analogy here.  
 
Panthers beat Cardinals- The well-rested and fully charged Panthers will run all over the Cardinals, who will be battered and bruised from containing Michael Turner.  Expect a big game from 2008 MVP candidate DeAngelo Williams. 
 
NFC CHAMPIONSHIP

Eagles beat Panthers:  Writer’s note: This pick is with my heart and not with my head. Despite having a formidable passing threat in Steve Smith, the Eagles will focus on shutting down the Williams/Stewart express and charge forward to the Super Bowl. 
  
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AFC WILD CARD

Colts beat Chargers- The Colts are the AFC team that put it all together at the right moment.  While the Chargers are a beast at home, and Phillip Rivers is emerging into an elite QB, the Colts are just the better-balanced team. This game could come down to the health of LT, which hasn’t been in the Chargers favor most of the season.
 
Ravens beat Dolphins- Great comeback story for the Dolphins, but the Ravens defense is just too tough.  The Ravens running game has been strong in the last two weeks of the season and while rookie QB Matt Ryan has been given most of media attention this season, Joe Flacco has been pretty amazing in his own right.  
 

AFC DIVISIONAL ROUND

Colts beat Steelers- Injuries are mounting at the wrong time for the Steelers.  Big Ben had his clock rung in the last week of the season and will offer a shaky passing performance.  While the Steelers defense has truly been an iron curtain most of the season, there is always that one time.  Yes I made a reference to the movie Little Giants, but Icebox concurs with me.
 
Titans beat Ravens- What time is it?  Game time!  Sorry Ray Lewis, I’m not picking you.  You have to cheer for any head coach that was associated with the 1985 Bears and has ties to the Philadelphia Eagles.  Besides RB Chris Johnson carried two of my fantasy leagues this season. 
 

AFC CHAMPIONSHIP

Colts beat Titans- I think the Titans winning would make for a better story, but would you really pick Kerry Collins over Peyton Manning?  Only if we were playing beer pong.
 

SUPER BOWL

Eagles beat Colts…call it my second “heart attack.”  Sooner or later the monkey has to come off of your back.  Right Cubs fans? Besides, is this not Philadelphia’s year?  The Phillies started the trend.

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PETER CHRISTIAN

NFC WILD CARD

Vikings over Eagles – Since everyone seems to have forgotten that this is the same Eagles team that tied the Bengals, got blown out against the Ravens and wanted to cut Donovan McNabb and fire Andy Reid A MONTH AGO, let me remind you. The Eagles struggle against tough run defenses, the Vikings just happen to be the best in the league.

Cardinals over Falcons – I’ll concede that the Cardinals have the least momentum of any play-off team but they still have Anquan Boldin, Larry Fitzgerald and Kurt Warner. 
 

NFC DIVISIONAL ROUND

Giants over Cardinals – If the Cardinals could play a lick of defense on the road I would pick them to beat Eli and the Giants. The problem is that they don’t play defense. Ever.

Panthers over Vikings – These two teams will combine for about 500 rushing yards and 9 INT’s. The fact that the Vikings beat the Panthers earlier this year is discounted by the fact that the Panthers are unbeaten/unstoppable at home. 
 

NFC CHAMPIONSHIP

Panthers over Giants – Everyone who watched the Sunday Night Game two weeks ago knows that the Panthers pissed that game down their collective leg. They aren’t going to do it twice.
 

AFC WILD CARD

Chargers over Colts – Putting all the “8-8 team hosting a play-off game” whining aside, Think about this: If it weren’t for Brad Childress and Sage Rosenfels being mentally challenged, the Colts would not be in the play-offs. Additionally, the Chargers have proven that they can play the Colts close even when they are in the middle of a Hoover-like suck streak.

Ravens over Dolphins – If I hear about the damn Wildcat formation one more frickin time, I’m going to scream. If you prepare for the Wildcat you can stop it. Period. 

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AFC DIVISIONAL ROUND

Steelers over Ravens – The Steelers and Ravens have already played two amazingly close, boring games. Grab a blanket and a pillow and get ready for the third.

Chargers over Titans  – Philip Rivers has the hot hand over the last couple weeks and it will continue over the top seeded Titans. LenDale White and Keith Bullocks will both use the Terrible Towels to wipe their tears instead of stomping on them.
 

AFC CHAMPIONSHIP

Steelers over Chargers – The Chargers will come up short in their second consecutive AFC title game. LT won’t be on the sideline because he’s hurt, he’ll be on the sideline because he is washed up.

SUPER BOWL

Panthers over Steelers – The Panthers will rush for over 400 combined yards against the two top rushing defenses in the league (Vikings and Steelers) on their way to their first Super Bowl title and the distinction as the greatest rushing attack ever.
 

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Comments

  1. Peter Christian says

    I messed up… if the Ravens win they play the Titans not the Steelers. Ignore the Chargers over Titans pick, reverse the Steelers over Ravens and Steelers over Ravens.

    Ravens will beat the Titans.

    My bad. I blame the editor for not catching that….. kidding.

  2. paulmbanks says

    You see how I had to edit and proofread 9 pages worth of picks..LOL! It just sucks that the NFL has a sytem based on lowest surviving seed always plays highest existing seed. instead of just a straight up tourney, so its confusing. Plus this yr has so much parity that whoever gets the most picks right, could be absolutely anyone

  3. Peter Christian says

    well I screwed up my comment/revision too. I said “reverse the Steelers over Ravens and Steelers over Ravens” which might be difficult to do… I obviously meant reverse Steelers over Ravens and Steelers over Chargers as in the order in which it will happen.

  4. so I was just joking about picking the Colts to win the Super Bowl… everyone knows that right?

  5. paulmbanks says

    I’m sure you’d love it if I kept track of everyone’s record in their picks like I did in the college bowls, wouldnt you?

  6. paulmbanks says

    dont cha? dont cha? dont cha? dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me, dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?…I cant believe I just typed the awful lyrics to that retarded song just now

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